When Egos Meet

“Half of life is lost in charming others. The other half is lost in going through anxieties caused by others. Leave this play. You have played enough!” ~Rumi

It’s never a party when egos meet. In fact, it can be a pretty bad sight indeed. You see, the ego is always ready for a fight, letting us think it’s simply protecting us when in fact, it’s actually bullying us. Sounds weird I know. But not so when you realize that the ego is that critical thinking part of us that’s always watching, conniving, deciding who did what to us, what we should do to them, who we are, who they are, etc.

We all have different egos. Some make us think we’re better than others, and some make us think we are less. And usually we have a combination to fit different needs as they arise. The main thing is that we are not our egos. We are the higher self inside of us: Our Spirit. But why is the Spirit so quiet and seems to do nothing to stop our crazy egos’ chatter, and ruining our relationships? Because the Spirit believes in our free will where as the ego believes in harassing us into submission.

Now, when egos meet, each has an agenda that is self serving and certainly not thinking of the greater good. You can see why problems don’t get solved and we have so much trouble living in harmony with one another.

So what do we do? I really don’t think we can get rid of our egos even though some have said that they have. The best I have found is to tame it. Our quiet Spirit will come alive if asked. Once you work with your Spirit and listen closely to what it has to say, you will be free to live the life you were born to live. But remember, you have free will; you have to ask for the help you need.

Listening to the ego and engaging with other egos will cause you to waste your life, and take you very far away from the path you should be following. This is your one and only life; don’t waste it on your ego, or fall victim to other egos.

“Once you can tame your ego mind, you are able to see clearly the path you were born to follow.” ~Roxana Jones

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Problems

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To me this quote from Eckhart Tolle means that problems really can’t live in our present moments because problems usually occur when we live in the past or future and are simply not being present. If we look back, we can probably find something to make into a problem and bring it into the present moment by thinking about it, but it shouldn’t be in our present moment because it was already there once and now it belongs in the past where it should be forgotten.

If we look into the future we could create something to worry about by dragging it into the present, but why do we want to do that when we really have no idea what the future holds for us until it arrives and becomes the present. Fear sometimes brings us to the future.

So, what we actually have is only what’s happening right now and soon that now will also be in the past, and only starts to be a problem when we keep bringing it up over and over again. As crazy as this all sounds, our problems can’t survive in our present moments if we are truly present because we would solve an issue before it becomes a problem or discard it. There is not enough fuel to actually be living in the moment and keep a so-called problem alive. It’s only when we go looking for trouble by looking backward or forward and over thinking that we give negative energy to our present moment by creating problems that grow into monsters filling our brains with misery and giving us sleepless nights of trying to figure things out— what went wrong, or what might go wrong. And don’t forget, when we do this stuff we are no longer in the present moment.

If we could figure all this out for once and for all, think about all the happiness and great relationships we would have. We could experience real forgiveness and love, and we wouldn’t make ourselves and everyone else so unhappy. Life would become richer and peaceful for all.

Okay, this all sounds great, but since this is not a fairytale story where we will all just start this right now and life will suddenly change for the better, let’s call this a work in progress and strive to live in the present and keep the past and future out of our lives the best we can. In doing this, maybe the world can become a better place because we’ve become better people.

Is There Really a Problem?

We humans have a terrible habit and need to generate problems. We do encounter real problems on our life’s journey and we have to figure out how to deal with them, but how do you deal with a problem that we or someone created that was never there in the first place?

I bet a lot of the problems we come across aren’t really problems at all; they are simply an obstacle that either we, or another person decided to place in the way. And that’s so sad because it just litters the highway we are traveling on, and takes time away from the real issues in life–not to mention robbing us of joy.

So how can you tell the difference between a real problem and a fake one? A real problem has substance. You can see, feel, smell and taste it, and in doing this, you can deal with it and finally fix it. If it’s one that was created, it has no substance and the only power it has is what you give it.

Do you really have a problem, or are you just unhappy about something and letting your imagination run wild and making one up? Maybe you’re minding your own business and a family member or co-worker decides to design a problem just for you. What do you do? Nothing. Pull yourself away from yourself, or the other person and don’t play the game. Because that’s all it is, “a game.”

The ego is the designer of the game and the name of the game is “Problems.” If you don’t play then there is no game, and if there’s no game, there really isn’t a problem.

Life can be happy and even joyful if we stop making problems for ourselves and others. There is so much good we can do, and so much fun we can have. Don’t waste your time on pretend problems.

“The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem.” ~ Captain Jack Sparrow

Let Go

What would happen if you decided today to simply let go of all the things that keep you captive? You know, things like fear, anger, regret, bitterness, resentment, sadness, pain, hatred, unforgiveness, etc. All the things in your life that are negative and make you miserable and a prisoner. Can you imagine what the feeling would be like if you let go of it all?

It’s hard to let those feelings go. Try as you might you just can’t seem to loosen your tight grip on them. that’s because you’ve lived this way your whole life and it’s just your normal. It might be the way you have always lived, but it’s not the way to happiness and you know it. What’s actually happened here is your ego has taken over your life and we all know it thrives on conflict.

There are two ways out of living like this. One is a gamble that one day you will get sick of it and just surrender. The other is to work at not letting the negative things in your life grab a hold of you. When you start to feel pulled down, visualize the rope or chains that are holding you captive breaking apart and freeing you. Wow! Don’t you feel alive and as light as a feather?

But now what? Can you as a human really enjoy life without problems? That old ego of yours is going to try to stir things up again, and soon you’ll be back where you started from. In order for this not to keep happening, your desire for peace and happiness has to be strong. You have to make a commitment to keep your Spirit stronger than your ego, and you have to stay the course for a better life. It’s something you must work at daily.

There’s a wonderful gift waiting for you when you learn to let go. Open your gift and see what the Universe has given. There’s joy and peace delicately wrapped for you to share. What’s missing is all those burdens you’ve been carrying around. Why, you can actually breath deeper now, and can see what really matters in your life.

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”
~ Lao Tzu

Do Your Best

Every day you have to make decisions. Some are no big deal and you hardly give them a thought, but some are in the problems to solve category and no matter how hard you try, you are never satisfied with your decision–even to the degree of regret! Just do your best. That’s right, doing your best at all times is the only thing you can do, and it’s what you strive to do whether you realize it or not. Sometimes your best will be your absolute WORST, but that’s okay because at the time, it was the best you could do.

Now, all of this probably sounds like a copout but it’s not. Just think about it. Today you might feel differently about a problem you had yesterday or a week ago. Because of that the decision you made in the past may not be the same as the one you would make today, but the one you made was right for you at the time. Go back a year or ten years and look at the decisions that you have made. Would you make the same decision today? Maybe not, and that’s because you are a different person today.

Don’t ever beat yourself up about the decisions you have made in the past. You are forever changing and learning throughout this fast journey of yours, and this is the way it’s supposed to be. Each and every decision you have made, and will make, will always be the one that is right at the very moment you are making it, even if you are at your very worst.

I have made hard decisions, and not very good decisions in my life and I know it’s easy to feel regret, but don’t. Just know that you have always done your best, and now it’s time to accept this fact and put all those negative thoughts to rest.

“Always Do Your Best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.”

~ Miguel Angel Ruiz

Problem Creators

Problems are a part of life, but unnecessary problems are created between people. What’s important is how you try to solve these problems. Albert Einstein said, “You can’t solve a problem with the same mind that created it,” and he was right. In order to solve a problem you have to take a step back and clear your mind of any previous feelings that you had when the problem was created in the first place.

Anger has to go right out the door because you can’t solve a problem when anger is attached to it. Hurt is another one that has no place in problem solving along with who was right and who was wrong. Doesn’t matter. Forgiveness of yourself and others is the only way to move forward with a clear new mindset. And forgiveness goes well with compassion and acceptance of others that don’t always share your views.

Humans love to hold on to anger and everything else that is ego driven. In arguments, everyone wants to be heard, and everyone thinks they are right. What is really sad is humans will sacrifice everything in the name of being right, even if they know deep down inside they’re probably wrong.

I’ve said it before, “life is short.” We live breath to breath never knowing when it will end. Our modern world is topsy-turvy with danger lurking around every corner, so way make life any harder? Wouldn’t it just be easier to say, “You respect me, and I respect you, but who says we always have to agree?”

Enjoy this life while you can and don’t get caught up manufacturing problems for yourself and others. But if you do find yourself in an ego slip, then step back, get your emotions out of the way, and think about what you’re doing in a clear and unattached manner. Who knows, maybe by the next day all that you were upset about might have flown away.

Created problems have no place in the real world, and only exist because they have originated in the minds of people who must feel very displaced. Remember, your life is beautiful and so very fragile as a butterfly’s wings, and creating problems in life just shouldn’t be.

Keep It Simple

Don’t create problems for yourself–keep it simple. Most of the negativity in your life comes from you and only you. It’s true there can be so-called problem people in your life, but when you think about it, they only become a problem if you let them. And how do you not let them? Back away from the storm they’re creating and let them figure it out without you being dragged in. Life is too short to put up with any nonsense so keep it simple.

Whether you are dealing with the demands of job, kids, friends, or family don’t let yourself get sucked into the abyss. Always think of a way to make your life simple. Get lazy and stop doing so much. The more you do the more all of these people expect. It’s not their fault–you have trained them to think of you this way. On the job, you accept more and more responsibilities because you want to keep your job safe, be recognized and promoted. You spoil your family and friends because you love them and want to be the best you can be, and this is how you show your love. Don’t try so hard; give it up and keep it simple.

Stop raising the bar on yourself because the more you raise it the more you will have to meet yours and other people’s expectations. Don’t forget, when you are trying to meet everybody’s expectations life becomes a grind and you become a grump.

Be kind, grateful, and do some good in the world, but don’t forget you are here to enjoy life too. If you keep telling yourself to keep it simple then you won’t find yourself overwhelmed with demanding people, places, or things.

Take a deep breath and kick back. Now, isn’t life grand?

“It’s the simple things in life that are the most extraordinary; only wise men are able to understand them.” ~ Paulo Coelho