The Gift of Devaluation

“Re-examine all you have been told. Dismiss what insults your soul.”~Walt Whitman

As we travel on this journey we will encounter situations where we feel devalued by other humans. When this happens it’s so important to remember that we all have value, and not to believe or accept the poison being sent out.

This devaluation can come from many forms. It often begins when we start school as little guys and someone doesn’t want to be our friend and puts us down, or the cool group of kids snubs us. Being let go from a job where our services are no longer needed, or a position is erased and so are we. Friendships ending, romantic breakups as well as marriages ending all take their toll. There is a devaluation that isn’t discussed much and that is adult children feeling their parents have lost their value and have become clutter in their lives. Perhaps this is a result of parents living longer.

When other humans send you a message that you don’t count it’s depressing and you have to work your way through the dark clouds. This is done best by acknowledging how you feel and then really allowing yourself to feel the pain. I think the greatest growth comes from pain. Give yourself time and you will see the clouds lifting away and the sun will pour in, and you won’t need their acceptance anymore.

I think being devalued is actually a gift. It’s a chance to recapture the person you were before you became someone’s parent, were married to that awful person, or worked for the horrible boss and stressful job. You’ve been given a chance to really live again. Sure you‘re older, but don’t forget, wiser too.

Take a deep breath and go within. You are beautiful and you are so worthy of a happy life surrounded by other humans who appreciate and love you. Ask yourself what is it that you want to do with the rest of your life. Before you felt devalued, picture the person you used to be—but now a better version. Concentrate on yourself and fulfill your dreams the best that you can. This is your life. Control it; enjoy it.

“It is not the end of the physical body that should worry us. Rather, our concern must be to live while we’re alive—to release our inner selves from the spiritual death that comes with living behind a façade designed to conform to external definitions of who and what we are.” ~Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

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Rewire Yourself

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We come into this world prewired and that wiring gets shaped by our family and the outside world. This is all good when our wiring is mostly positive, but when our wiring is pretty much negative… that’s not so good.

The good news is we can rewire our brains by how we choose to think. We are who we are, but if there are things we want to change about ourselves such as being happier, kinder, compassionate, and patient beings we can do that. It all just takes willingness and a lot of practicing in order to make rewiring possible. There are therapists, books, articles etc. out there to help along the way.

A good start is simply learning to be more mindful. Don’t be too hard on yourself when you slip back into your old ways. I do that more than I like to admit. I don’t like it when I slip back, but I remind myself that it’s my default wiring kicking in. Recognizing slipping back shows rewiring is developing and that’s good because you’re getting somewhere, and that’s what it’s all about.

Anything is possible if you really want it.

“Neurons that fire together wire together. You can rewire your brain for higher consciousness by focusing on love.” ~ Deepak Chopra

Homo Sapiens

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When will humankind learn that in order to survive and thrive as a species we must accept one another and learn to get along? There is no other way if we want to live a balanced and fulfilling life; the life we are here to live. Our planet is delicate and so are we. As we destroy ourselves, we obliterate our natural environment.

Looking at history, I fear we have learned nothing from our past mistakes. We continue as a species to wage war on one another and our planet. We are greedy creatures caring more about our status than our ethics. Our behavior can’t go on forever without ending humanity and our planet.

There is always hope that a new generation of humans will one day see the light and start making the changes necessary for humanity and this beautiful planet to flourish. As hatred becomes a thing of the past, new generations of humans will see as they study history that yes, we Homo sapiens did finally learn from our wayward ways. Love has a way of doing that. I can almost feel the anticipation for that day to arrive.

“We are very, very small, but we are profoundly capable of very, very big things.”~ Stephen Hawking

All You Need is Love

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Just like the Beatles song all any of us really needs is love. The holidays can be a crazy time of the year filled with emotion and consumerism that can drive us all a bit wacky. While I was out shopping the other day I met two women that were talking about how rude people are this time of year. One woman made the mistake at the post office of saying Merry Christmas to the clerk who was in a bad mood and the clerk almost took her head off saying, “It’s Happy Holidays!” The second woman was a checker at the grocery store who looked stressed. I asked how her day was going and she shrugged and said that people come through her line and are busy on their phones texting and don’t even acknowledge her. And there are days when people are so nasty that she leaves her shift having to be alone and de-stress. Is this what we’ve come to?

Take a deep breath and surrender all the stress. Give some time to yourself. Maybe practice yoga and meditation. Instead of taking out your stress on others, learn to connect to people and things around you. When I surrender, good things come my way.

We are all so closed up in our safe cozy houses living in little bubbles. But think if the doors to these houses were blown away, or our houses burned down, there we would be with our neighbors we hardly know standing in a vast of nothingness. We would have to put our differences aside and connect to one another to survive. Sadly, many people this year have lost their homes and loved ones through these kinds of tragedies, and hopefully found love coming from complete strangers and caring neighbors they didn’t even know they had.

It shouldn’t take a catastrophe event to bring humans together. In the digital world we all live in we have to work harder to develop and keep real human connection alive. It doesn’t seem that long ago that our connection to one another is what made us human in the first place.

There are all kinds of love. The love for your children and grandchildren, your spouse, parents, close friends, etc. And there’s the care and affection for the people you work with, a distant friend, the neighbor you share your garden goodies with, and maybe even the checker at the grocery store. Connect with these people and you’ll find that connection will turn into love. When love is present there can’t be anger, hate, or even fear.

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~ Author Unknown

All the silly disagreements and getting mad that we sometimes do is just a waste of time. And time is something that is running out for all of us. Simply just loving and accepting one another can conquer so much and make living a joy.

Surprising Beauty

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Among the wildflowers there are always a few surprising beauties that find their way in the tangled maze to stand tall and proud. In the beginning, they might feel small and shy, but give them love and they will shine.

Surprise yourself and find your inner beauty. It’s there you know, intertwined with the wildflowers.

Evolving

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Why do we act negatively, sometimes even to the point of sabotaging ourselves? I think it has something to do with primitive survival. I think when we are having a difference of opinion with someone, or even an argument, our brains go back to primitive times when opposition meant it was time for survival mode to kick in. I also think that’s why we have the ego. It’s there to protect us, letting us know we are being treated badly and need to do something about it. We really don’t need the ego anymore because it gets us into a lot of trouble with all its bad chatter that fill our brains.

We need to evolve a little more and start thinking with our hearts and not the mind so much. We don’t have to take a disagreement and make it all out war. Sadly, I’ve seen and also have experienced some of this behavior in action. It happens in jobs, with friends, neighbors and the absolute worst: Families. It has caused marriages to end, siblings to stop speaking to one another, and grown children to turn against their parents. And I realize that this primitive thinking can get very extreme resulting in physical, mental, abuse and even murder.

This primitive survival mode causes so much miscommunication that nobody even knows what they are mad about anymore. They just know they’re mad and it’s the other person’s fault. The book is closed, everybody’s life goes on–still mad of course, and then one of the parties dies and sometimes a different perspective arrives, but it’s too late.

Practicing thinking with our heart, our Spirit, will make us all calm down and really listen to each other with open minds instead of thinking how mad this makes us feel. We might not always agree, but we can agree to disagree in harmony, and accept the right of others to have a different opinion. Respect, kindness, and love come from thinking with the heart, and that’s evolving.

“If only we can overcome cruelty, to human and animal, with love and compassion we shall stand at the threshold of a new era in human moral and spiritual evolution – and realize, at last, our most unique quality: humanity.”

~ Jane Goodal