Finding Wisdom

“The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.” ~ Socrates

We need to keep our eyes and ears open on this journey for the little bits of wisdom to be found. Nature provides it all the time, but we have to pay attention. The young and the old all around us speak volumes, but we have to listen. Yes, even the very young can be full of wisdom. We can learn a lot by simply watching children at play.

Wisdom is provided to help us on our journey. All that’s needed is to slow down and take it all in.

“Don’t gain the world and lose your soul; wisdom is better than silver or gold.” ~ Bob Marley

Nostalgia

“That it will never come again is what makes life so sweet.” ~ Emily Dickinson

It’s so hard to find positive quotes on nostalgia. The very definition is “Sentimental longing for the past,” and most quotes have to do with that longing and a kind of sadness. I like what Emily Dickinson had to say about nostalgia.

Nostalgia came about for me when my two granddaughters spent the night. Since they are thirteen and very busy with friends etc. I don’t see them as often as I used to. The room that they sleep in—which was once their mother’s room, has some toys and fragments of things that go way back to when they were really little. Since I don’t know when they’ll be coming back to spend the night, I thought we’d take the opportunity and see what they wanted to keep and what to give away, or recycle.

I found my memories dancing around of endless times playing with dolls with them. Board games, coloring books, old purses and things they made that now they have no use for. So much stuff that in the past they would have never let go. But I didn’t feel sad. I just felt amazed at how mature they have become, and how lucky I am to have played with them all these years. The stuff animals that once belonged to their mom, and books that I had read over and over, plus the very loved doll house, they want to keep. These items are over forty years old, and it’s special to know that maybe there will be a whole new generation enjoying these toys.

Of all the things I’ve experienced in life, I’ll have to say that the gift of raising my two daughters and being a grandmother I am most grateful for. Those times were not always easy. In fact, many times they were difficult. But I’m thankful for the good, bad, and the ugly of it all. That’s what life is really about. You learn to flow through it all and be grateful you’re alive to do so.

“Nostalgia is simply the result of aging and liking the life you’ve lived. Be happy you can feel it—it’s a good sign.” ~Anthony Marais

Put a positive spin on nostalgia. Whatever you’ve experienced in life be happy for it all. The bitter with the sweet moves our life along. No one ever said it was going to be easy, and that’s where expectations should be thrown out. Indeed, tomorrow is promised to no one.

Cherish all that comes your way, and let your heart feel warm and full that you got to be in the game of life this far. How lucky you are.

It Does Take a Village

“When I am talking about ‘It Takes a Village,’ I’m obviously not talking just about or even primarily about geographical villages any longer, but about the network of relationships and values that do connect us and binds us together.”
~ Hillary Clinton

Especially in today’s crazy world, children need all of us – parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, neighbors, teachers, etc. to guide them and help them to reach adulthood in one piece. They need to be taught not only manners and right from wrong, but to think outside the box, and to love and honor themselves and all of life’s beings. We need to teach them to put down their phones, and be one with nature. To walk gently upon the earth with love and kindness toward one another, and to be strong, but also bend in the wind like the trees.

“If every eight year old in the world is taught meditation, we will eliminate violence from the world within one generation.”
~ Dalai Lama

As adults we need to make time to listen to what children have to say. We need to reassure them that without judgment, they can always talk to us. In our busy lives we sometimes forget to listen. But also, as they become teens they like to push us away. Don’t let them no matter how hard it gets, because once they succeed, you’ve lost them forever.

“Listening is often the only thing needed to help someone.”
~ Author Unknown

Maybe, just maybe, we can make a difference with the present and future generations. But, we have to act now before it’s too late.

The Gift of Devaluation

“Re-examine all you have been told. Dismiss what insults your soul.”~Walt Whitman

As we travel on this journey we will encounter situations where we feel devalued by other humans. When this happens it’s so important to remember that we all have value, and not to believe or accept the poison being sent out.

This devaluation can come from many forms. It often begins when we start school as little guys and someone doesn’t want to be our friend and puts us down, or the cool group of kids snubs us. Being let go from a job where our services are no longer needed, or a position is erased and so are we. Friendships ending, romantic breakups as well as marriages ending all take their toll. There is a devaluation that isn’t discussed much and that is adult children feeling their parents have lost their value and have become clutter in their lives. Perhaps this is a result of parents living longer.

When other humans send you a message that you don’t count it’s depressing and you have to work your way through the dark clouds. This is done best by acknowledging how you feel and then really allowing yourself to feel the pain. I think the greatest growth comes from pain. Give yourself time and you will see the clouds lifting away and the sun will pour in, and you won’t need their acceptance anymore.

I think being devalued is actually a gift. It’s a chance to recapture the person you were before you became someone’s parent, were married to that awful person, or worked for the horrible boss and stressful job. You’ve been given a chance to really live again. Sure you‘re older, but don’t forget, wiser too.

Take a deep breath and go within. You are beautiful and you are so worthy of a happy life surrounded by other humans who appreciate and love you. Ask yourself what is it that you want to do with the rest of your life. Before you felt devalued, picture the person you used to be—but now a better version. Concentrate on yourself and fulfill your dreams the best that you can. This is your life. Control it; enjoy it.

“It is not the end of the physical body that should worry us. Rather, our concern must be to live while we’re alive—to release our inner selves from the spiritual death that comes with living behind a façade designed to conform to external definitions of who and what we are.” ~Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Be the Gift

 

“The greatest gift you can give someone is your time, your attention, your love, your concern.” Author Unknown

The Earth is a beautiful place, but our world can at times be cold and cruel. During this holiday season and all year-long be the gift that keeps on giving. Be the one who smiles at a stranger. Maybe that smile is perfect timing to an otherwise horrible day. What about that person in a wheelchair or scooter that is staring at the top shelf in the grocery store wondering how they will be able to reach. Can you be the helping hand even if you feel too busy?

Take someone under your wing and help them to soar. I remember once when I had started a new job and was struggling to learn and keep up, and feeling that every day was pure hell. If someone would have taken me under their wing and helped me along I’m sure I would have succeeded. Think about taking someone under your wing at work and helping them to learn the ropes. Better yet, we should teach our children to do this at school. Being a friend to the child everyone picks on, or helping the new kid find their way. Wow, loving children, no more bullies.

Be the one who says to the child, “I’m proud of you.” Doesn’t matter if you are the parent, teacher, or just the neighbor, let them know when they’ve done well. Give encouragement and praise helping them along the path so they believe they can. Let them know you have their back and care. This kind of compassion will sustain them when future dark days descend, and you know they will. A child with a box of coping tools will get through because they’ll know they’re loved and matter in this world.

Happy Holidays to you wonderful Beings, and here’s my wish for all of you:

“If I could give you any gift, I’d give you LOVE and LAUGHTER, a PEACEFUL HEART, a SPECIAL DREAM, and JOY FOREVER AFTER.”  ~ Unknown

Listen

Listen not only with your ears, but your eyes—your whole body.

Listen to the voice within.

“Listen to your heart. It knows everything.”  ~ Paulo Coelho

Listen to what’s not being said; to the silence all around you.

“The inspiration you seek is already within you. Be silent and listen.” ~ Rumi

Listen to nature it’s desperately trying to get your attention and tell you something you need to hear.

“The quieter you become, the more you can hear.” ~ Ram Dass

Listen carefully to the children.

“People start to heal the moment they feel heard.” ~ Cheryl Richardson

Pay attention to the children because they are the future and the last hope for this precious planet.

“The voice of the sea speaks to the soul.” ~ Kate Chopin

Are you listening?

It’s Still There

When tragedy hits whether it happens to us personally, or we are spectators of a horror that we can’t comprehend, we lose our bearings and nothing makes sense anymore, and beauty seems to go out the door.

But, the beauty and the sense of our lives are still there. It’s all around us and all we have to do is open our eyes to see.

It’s there in the small baby we hold so close taking in the sweet smell of a new life and fresh beginnings of hopes and dreams.

Our loved ones who accept us for the beings we are, and hold us tight when our world is falling apart.

We hear it in the giggles and laughter of children at play going about their day feeling safe and loved without a care or worry in the world.

The sunrise and sunset that begin and end our long days bring us the sense and beauty that we belong to each and every day.

It’s there in the elderly hand we hold giving love and support as once we were given when small and everything was so new.

Let us not forget the furry family members that grace our homes. Always listening and showing us unconditional love no matter what.

The warm sun bringing gratitude to our hearts, and each rainy downpour enticing us to jump into puddles. And, oh yes, the tiny snowflakes that tickle our noses making us feel so alive and wanting so much more.

We see the beauty and sense of life in the magnificent trees and colorful flowers that paint our days, and the delightful singing of songbirds that make us stop for a second and take notice.

Nature always teaches us about our lives even sometimes brutally, but its beauty and strength takes our breath away and makes us better in so many ways.

When we get lost from things out of our control we need to remind ourselves that yes, beauty and sense are still there. Just open your eyes and see it’s all around you and me.

 

Too Centered

Our lives are very busy—especially if we are working, raising children, and caring for our own parents. We get centered on things that we feel are important like education, making money, getting ahead in our jobs, simply surviving. And sometimes we forget to tell the ones we love that we “Love Them.” Maybe it’s that we don’t think we need to remind them. After all, we told them that a long time ago, didn’t we? They should just know.

But do they know? Maybe not. We can’t just assume. If we are so caught up in making it through each and everyday we just might miss the human component of our lives. It’s that part of our lives where even if the person we love is at times driving us crazy, or we are just feeling tired, worried, fed-up and even mad, we are still able to show how much we love them.

With our aging parents we can become exhausted from all the running around of errands we do for them, and tired of hearing the same old stories over and over again, but they still need to hear that we love them. And all the wild things our kids do that upset us, they too need to hear those tender important words of love. It’s not only when our kids are young that they need to hear it, but also when they are adults and struggling with their own grownup lives.

Sometimes we can just get too centered on what we feel is important and probably is, but we must not forget about the human side that speaks of only love. That human side is what your kids will remember about you and treasure, and it’s what will make your parents feel warm and safe in your care. Without that reminder of love, life can be bitter cold.

Be mindful and free with saying “I Love You.”

Danger in a Tone

That old adage, “It’s not what you say, but how you say it,” is so very true. It’s that tone we use that can make all the difference in the world. I don’t think most of us give much thought about how we sound or come off to others. And it’s not just the verbal tone we use, but also the tone we use in print, especially in our e-mails and texts.

Tone represents the mood we are currently in, but not necessarily how we actually feel toward the people or subject we are dealing with at the time. So if we are in a bad mood then how we deal with the people around us verbally or in print will have a hard and sometimes nasty edge to it. This can cause a lot of problems at work and in our private lives. And this can especially be devastating when dealing with children or very sensitive people.

Sometimes it’s hard to know when our tone is off because we are busy people, and always in a hurry. We speak or text very fast before we have really processed all information. Yours truly has made that mistake many times. Usually this happens to me when I get caught up in a situation that I feel is critical and the other person has a different view.

So what do we do about keeping our tone smooth and cordial? “SMILE.” That’s right. Before you open your mouth, or write that offensive line, smile first. It’s pretty hard to say or write anything in a mean tone while smiling.

It doesn’t hurt to remind ourselves to be kind and gentle toward others. We all have stressful days, but a bad or really cruel tone can throw another human off into misery, and I don’t think any of us ever mean to do that.

Life can be hard, so put that smile on your face and let’s watch out for one another.

“Tone has the living soul.” ~ Shinichi Suzuki

What Are You Willing to Sacrifice?

What are you really willing to sacrifice for your career? Are you willing to cheat and lie and crush those below as you climb up the ladder? Well, that may be going a bit far, but some have done just that. But would you sacrifice your marriage, or miss your children’s childhood? What about your health? Are you willing to give that away? And those dreams for something even better, remember those? Are you willing to put your whole life on hold for this thing called a career?

When it’s put this way most people would have no trouble saying, NO. But in reality most of us do sacrifice much too much for the career and even for the thing we call the job. Some of us seem to have no problem sacrificing ourselves for the cause. We live by the motto of “work hard and one day you will make it.” The truth is that there is no guarantee you will make it to the top of your career, or even have a career. Life just has a way of sidelining us. And even if we do make it, was it all worth it?

Time is very valuable, and when you think about it, goes by very fast. Time waits for no one. And once it’s gone, it’s gone for good. So think about what you’re willing to sacrifice for your career, or the job that works you to death. Is it worth it? Can you still make a living without losing time with those you love and losing yourself in the process?

What it all comes down to is “Balance.” When you find the balance in your life everything comes together and works for you instead of against you. You can have the career without sacrificing yourself if you find and keep that balance. When you stop sacrificing to achieve that’s when you live your authentic self. And when you think about it, isn’t that what you’re really looking and working for?

Go out and live your best life!