Apologize

“Apologizing does not always mean that you’re wrong and the other person is right. It just means that you value your relationship more than your ego.” ~ Author unknown

Saying “I’m sorry,” is so hard to do when we don’t feel we did anything wrong. When we say those words we feel like we’re admitting and taking ownership to hurting someone, or doing something wrong. If that wasn’t our intent, or we don’t believe it’s true then why should we apologize?

I think telling someone you’re sorry even though you had no idea you hurt them is something you do as a kindness and just being a good human. You do it for them; not for you. After all, I don’t think very many of us have a problem when shopping at the grocery store saying I’m sorry when we bump into someone’s basket by mistake, or cut them off. It doesn’t seem to bother us to say it because it’s a courtesy that just flows out of our mouths. So why isn’t it a courtesy when someone lets us know that we upset them?

Every day we deal with other humans and we say things that people take the wrong way and we even hurt feelings. We make decisions at the time that seem right but sometimes end up wrong. Our mouths say things before our brains have a chance to digest words and actions. It’s all part of the human condition, but so is being considerate of our fellow humans.

When you apologize to someone in the case of not intentionally trying to cause them emotional pain, you are not admitting guilt. You are being a human connecting to another human and sending love. When you do apologize make sure it comes from the heart. Really feel that empathy for another being.

Maybe if more of us could be selfless and learn to connect the world would be a happier place.

“Apologies are the art of spiritual housekeeping. They help to put and keep our lives in order.” ~ Julia Cameron

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Baggage

Bags

Dealing with baggage can be a real pain. We stuff things in that we don’t know if we’ll really need, and it tends to get heavy. We carry it and drag it all over the place, and we wonder why we packed what we packed. Now that’s real physical baggage. What about emotional baggage? We can sure pack a lot of emotional baggage during our journey, and it’s not just us doing the packing. Like physical bags, emotional baggage can get very difficult to handle.

We start out with our parents packing all kinds of things into a bag for us. Now, our parents don’t mean us any harm. I’m speaking of course about most parents. I realize there are exceptions. Parents in fact usually want the best for us. But they only know what they know and are doing the best they can. That being said, guilt and all kinds of rules of who and what we should be and believe in get stuffed in there. This can cause a lot of confusion in our minds where we sometimes come up short of their expectations and maybe our own. Other family members can also add to our load.

As we travel along this journey we experience many negative situations in the form of friends, lovers, co-workers, and complete strangers. All of these people and the experiences they bring get stuffed in our bags causing us to become overwhelmed. The baggage just becomes too much for us to cart around and we can become sick. We don’t know what to do and start to feel that we are stuck with this baggage forever.

Have you ever thought about just letting go of the baggage? Walking away from it, or imagining pushing it off a cliff? You can do all of these things. Just because a bag was packed for you and grew along the way, doesn’t mean you have to keep it anymore. You just have to let go. It’s that simple. By letting go you stop being a prisoner of your mind. If you let go of all your baggage you start living in the present and you let the past be just that.

I know you can do it. You can be happy and free. You might not realize it, but you and only you have the power to make any change you want to in your life. Once you realize this you can start to really live the life you were meant to live. Come on, use your power and live a full life, and get rid of the baggage that is holding you back.

“At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.” ~ Lao Tzu

All You Need is Love

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Just like the Beatles song all any of us really needs is love. The holidays can be a crazy time of the year filled with emotion and consumerism that can drive us all a bit wacky. While I was out shopping the other day I met two women that were talking about how rude people are this time of year. One woman made the mistake at the post office of saying Merry Christmas to the clerk who was in a bad mood and the clerk almost took her head off saying, “It’s Happy Holidays!” The second woman was a checker at the grocery store who looked stressed. I asked how her day was going and she shrugged and said that people come through her line and are busy on their phones texting and don’t even acknowledge her. And there are days when people are so nasty that she leaves her shift having to be alone and de-stress. Is this what we’ve come to?

Take a deep breath and surrender all the stress. Give some time to yourself. Maybe practice yoga and meditation. Instead of taking out your stress on others, learn to connect to people and things around you. When I surrender, good things come my way.

We are all so closed up in our safe cozy houses living in little bubbles. But think if the doors to these houses were blown away, or our houses burned down, there we would be with our neighbors we hardly know standing in a vast of nothingness. We would have to put our differences aside and connect to one another to survive. Sadly, many people this year have lost their homes and loved ones through these kinds of tragedies, and hopefully found love coming from complete strangers and caring neighbors they didn’t even know they had.

It shouldn’t take a catastrophe event to bring humans together. In the digital world we all live in we have to work harder to develop and keep real human connection alive. It doesn’t seem that long ago that our connection to one another is what made us human in the first place.

There are all kinds of love. The love for your children and grandchildren, your spouse, parents, close friends, etc. And there’s the care and affection for the people you work with, a distant friend, the neighbor you share your garden goodies with, and maybe even the checker at the grocery store. Connect with these people and you’ll find that connection will turn into love. When love is present there can’t be anger, hate, or even fear.

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~ Author Unknown

All the silly disagreements and getting mad that we sometimes do is just a waste of time. And time is something that is running out for all of us. Simply just loving and accepting one another can conquer so much and make living a joy.

Point of Saturation

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Author Unknown

 

When you’ve been putting up with a difficult person or persons in your life for a long time there will come a day when you will feel that enough is enough, and that will be the day you will have reached your point of saturation. We all have our limits on how much and for how long we can put up with grueling relationships, but once you reach your end there is no turning back.

Sometimes when you reach this point, it’s burnout from the people you work with, a demanding relative, or your mate. It doesn’t matter who has caused it, but what matters is what you are going to do about it, because staying in any kind of bad relationship is detrimental to your health.

Don’t feel bad if you’ve reached saturation. It’s simply a sign that change is overdue in your life. There are steps you can take to mend and hopefully save the relationship. Communication is always best, but sometimes people are hard to communicate with. This can be especially true if they are a relative, or a lover. You would think it would be easier, but the closer the person is to you, sometimes the harder it is to talk to them.

You could give counseling or mediation a try, but if that doesn’t help, or you don’t even want to try, then it’s time to walk away. Your life is not supposed to be about making yourself miserable so others can be happy. You deserve to live a happy and balanced life, and that doesn’t include letting other people step all over you—no matter who they are in your life.

Be brave enough to love and protect yourself from those that only want to control and hurt you.

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Take a Pause

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Take a pause, and then ask yourself: Is my anger in this relationship worth a nuclear bomb?

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Once you blow up a relationship it’s impossible to ever put the pieces back together again. I know from experience that even if you can find the pieces they never go back quite the same, and that’s because trust is missing from the pile.

Always take that pause. There’s no hurry you know. Time is on your side, and tomorrow? Well, it’s a new day.

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Problems

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To me this quote from Eckhart Tolle means that problems really can’t live in our present moments because problems usually occur when we live in the past or future and are simply not being present. If we look back, we can probably find something to make into a problem and bring it into the present moment by thinking about it, but it shouldn’t be in our present moment because it was already there once and now it belongs in the past where it should be forgotten.

If we look into the future we could create something to worry about by dragging it into the present, but why do we want to do that when we really have no idea what the future holds for us until it arrives and becomes the present. Fear sometimes brings us to the future.

So, what we actually have is only what’s happening right now and soon that now will also be in the past, and only starts to be a problem when we keep bringing it up over and over again. As crazy as this all sounds, our problems can’t survive in our present moments if we are truly present because we would solve an issue before it becomes a problem or discard it. There is not enough fuel to actually be living in the moment and keep a so-called problem alive. It’s only when we go looking for trouble by looking backward or forward and over thinking that we give negative energy to our present moment by creating problems that grow into monsters filling our brains with misery and giving us sleepless nights of trying to figure things out— what went wrong, or what might go wrong. And don’t forget, when we do this stuff we are no longer in the present moment.

If we could figure all this out for once and for all, think about all the happiness and great relationships we would have. We could experience real forgiveness and love, and we wouldn’t make ourselves and everyone else so unhappy. Life would become richer and peaceful for all.

Okay, this all sounds great, but since this is not a fairytale story where we will all just start this right now and life will suddenly change for the better, let’s call this a work in progress and strive to live in the present and keep the past and future out of our lives the best we can. In doing this, maybe the world can become a better place because we’ve become better people.

We Can

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We can be the change that needs to be.

We can be the beauty we long to see.

We can be the love that’s waiting to be freed.

But nothing will ever change unless we wake up, raise our voices, and demand the time is now!

Don’t go home and close the door behind you thinking you’re closing the world away because you’re not. Nothing gets better on its own. We are all connected, and when one part is sick we are all sick.

We can all do our part to make the world we live in a better place. Change can happen by how we vote, treat each other, and how we choose to live our lives. The important thing is to be connected and never give up the fight for change that needs to be.

ChangeTheWorld