Balanced Tolerance

Sisters and their dog trying to be tolerant

“Inner compassion and outer tolerance can easily make a new world, a better world.”  ~ Sri Chinmoy

We all should try and be more tolerant of one another. Not every disagreement is a 911 for ending relationships. We all have different beliefs, opinions and quirks that can make relationships difficult sometimes, but not impossible. Family members, neighbors, co-workers and good friends can really annoy us, but it’s usually just temporary and will pass.

Being tolerant doesn’t mean we should put up with nonsense. Sometimes being tolerant just won’t float the boat, and this is where balance enters the scene. We can’t be tolerant of a bully or someone who’s evil and out to hurt us. And this goes for political figures out to destroy not only us, but our beautiful planet Earth.

“Tolerance becomes a crime when applied to evil.”
~ Thomas Mann

But in our everyday life where tolerance is called upon to stand tall against little irritations from the humans surrounding us, we can balance our emotions and live in peace and harmony. After all, isn’t our differences the spice of life, and makes us all so interesting?

“Listen with ears of tolerance. See through the eyes of compassion. Speak with the language of love.” ~ Rumi

Meet People Where They’re At

Don’t push your agenda on anyone, or try and change how someone feels. Just listen and be there for the humans in your life. And certainly never have any expectations of how things should be.

Take the time in your busy life to sit down and pay attention without judgment to what a person has to say. You will be surprised how much better your relationships will be if you meet people where they’re at, and always have compassion.

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them – that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”
~ Lao Tzu

Deep Inside

You are the who that you are, but that doesn’t mean you can’t change the bad that you are. But… in doing that, don’t condemn the whole that is all of what you are.

Have compassion for what is deep inside.

It’s a new year and you know what that means? You are now looking at a blank canvas, a fresh start, and all the old negative feelings you had in 2017 you should throw out with this week’s trash! You don’t need them anymore.

Don’t be so hard on yourself. You are human and are learning. So learn to forgive, love, care about everyone—and that includes you. If you can’t do this for yourself then it will be harder to do it with others.

Life is short; don’t wait. Go ahead and reach deep inside—you might be surprised at the beauty you find there.

Be the Gift

The Earth is a beautiful place, but our world can at times be cold and cruel. During this holiday season and all year-long be the gift that keeps on giving. Be the one who smiles at a stranger. Maybe that smile is perfect timing to an otherwise horrible day. What about that person in a wheelchair or scooter that is staring at the top shelf in the grocery store wondering how they will be able to reach. Can you be the helping hand even if you feel too busy?

Take someone under your wing and help them to soar. I remember once when I had started a new job and was struggling to learn and keep up, and feeling that every day was pure hell. If someone would have taken me under their wing and helped me along I’m sure I would have succeeded. Think about taking someone under your wing at work and helping them to learn the ropes. Better yet, we should teach our children to do this at school. Being a friend to the child everyone picks on, or helping the new kid find their way. Wow, loving children, no more bullies.

Be the one who says to the child, “I’m proud of you.” Doesn’t matter if you are the parent, teacher, or just the neighbor, let them know when they’ve done well. Give encouragement and praise helping them along the path so they believe they can. Let them know you have their back and care. This kind of compassion will sustain them when future dark days descend, and you know they will. A child with a box of coping tools will get through because they’ll know they’re loved and matter in this world.

Happy Holidays to you wonderful Beings, and here’s my wish for all of you:

“If I could give you any gift, I’d give you LOVE and LAUGHTER, a PEACEFUL HEART, a SPECIAL DREAM, and JOY FOREVER AFTER.”  ~ Unknown

No Strings Attached

Love without strings. Now that’s a concept, and the way it’s supposed to be—right? It wasn’t all that long ago that I wrote about this very subject in “Unconditional Love and Acceptance.” But because we are facing rough times, and there seems to be so much anger flying around, it might do us all good to think about this again.

Loving each other, the planet we all share, and all of its beings without asking for something to be given in return. That’s pure acceptance and what love is all about.

“Give because you care, not because you want love, approval or a thank you in return. True acts of sharing are done without an agenda or strings attached.”

~ 10 Spiritual Principles of Kabbalah

Wouldn’t we all be much happier if we could take a breath, a step back, and live our lives with open arms of love, and not be so concerned about what’s in it for us? Not have so many rules and conditions for loving, but instead, practice tolerance and compassion for the existence of life itself.

“It is possible to live twenty-four hours a day in a state of love. Every movement, every glance, every thought and every word can be infused with love.”

~ Thich Nhat Hanh

What a great world it would be if only we could live our lives in love with no strings attached.

“A real relationship has fights. Has trust. Has faith. Has tears. Has hurt. Has sweet smiles. Has genuine laughter. Has weird, stupid, unnecessary arguments.”

~ Author Unknown

Wrong Perceptions

“The way in which you perceive the other is determined by your own thought forms.” ~ Eckhart Tolle

Sometimes in life we have perceptions that we truly believe are true. But are they always? Is the person you are mad at today really at fault and are they who you think they are? Do you know all the facts? So many times we rush to conclusion about someone, convincing ourselves that what we believe is true when in fact it simply isn’t.

Why be so quick to judge when all we need to do is deeply listen to what they are saying. In listening maybe we would realize that our perception is wrong and give the other person a chance. This would be so much better than the stories we make up in our head.

When we have persuaded ourselves that our perception about another person is correct we end up saying words that can never be taken back. We make decisions that might change not only the individual’s life, but our life and those who are close to us.

The times we are living in now are full of much anger and unhappiness. We need to find a way around all of that and learn to become more compassionate and accepting. We need each other in order to survive, and maybe starting with our perceptions is a good beginning.

“When we meditate on our perceptions, the Buddha observed, the person who suffers most in this world is the person with many wrong perceptions…. And most of our perceptions are erroneous. We see a snake in the dark and we panic, but when our friend shines a light on it, we see that it is only a rope. We have to know which wrong perceptions cause us to suffer.”  

~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Fragments

No matter how old we are negative fragments from our childhood seem to travel along with us. Most of the time we pay them no mind, or don’t even realize they are hitching a ride with us. Then one day something happens in our lives and a chain reaction takes place and those little fragments come alive and blow up in our face. And it will happen again and again until we decide to eradicate the little monsters and set ourselves free.

“Our sorrows and wounds are healed only when we touch them with compassion.” 

“No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.”

~ Buddha

Make today the day that the past ends and the present begins. show compassion to yourself and suffer no more. Facing those who have hurt you rarely works because egos get in the way and conversation becomes a ping-pong ball match where there are no winners.

In the end, the only true way to do way with past fragments is to open a door in your mind and let them out. And leave they will, when the decision to live only “Now” is finally made. Once all the fragments are out, the next thing to do …  learn to Forget.

“If you live in the past you get what the past gives you–bad experiences.”  ~ Cesar Millan