Hurt

bright

“The ego says, ‘I shouldn’t have to suffer,’ and that thought makes you suffer so much more. The truth is that you need to say yes to suffering before you can transcend it.” ~ Eckhart Tolle

We humans are fragile but at the same time strong beings. We get into trouble when our egos get hurt. We all want to be loved and accepted and when we’re not we feel not only hurt but sometimes anger.

Hurt can cause us to become selfish as we start to close down to everyone around us. We can become consumed with our own feelings of rejection that we become unable to love or accept love.

Never let yourself be so blinded by your own pain that you can’t see and feel the pain you have caused others.

“Love the heart that hurts you, but never hurt the heart that loves you.”  ~ Vipin Sharma

The quote by Sharma makes sense when someone you love does something to hurt you. Perhaps they really didn’t mean it, but it still hurts.

Feelings of hurt are just part of our journey and the best thing to do is let yourself feel it then let it go. Don’t ever let hurt stick to you. Use it as another lesson on your journey.

“Feel the feeling and drop the story.” ~ Pema Chodron

Filling Dreams

“Start working to fulfill your dreams, otherwise some day someone will put you in work to fulfill their dreams.”   Author Unknown

Fulfill your dreams before attempting to fulfill others.’ It’s not being selfish–it’s nurturing self, and will lead you to become a more selfless person.  If you let yourself get too caught up in everyone else’s drama, or simply get so involved in helping other people find their way, you will lose and rob yourself of the very reason you are here.

Give yourself time to grow, travel, and experience life before you saddle yourself with too many responsibilities. This advice is especially for the young just starting out in life, and also empty-nesters trying to fulfill dreams put on hold so long ago. It’s never too late.

“No matter what has happened in your past, you have not missed your destiny. No person or negative event can stop you from fulfilling your purpose, but it’s up to you to keep going.”  Author Unknown

If you don’t give yourself the gift of fulfilling your dreams, I hope you realize that nobody around you ever will. And if you don’t try you will end up a bitter and angry soul with a life not lived.

Remember, if you are good to yourself you will be a happier and kinder person to all those you care about.

“The biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your dreams.” ~ Oprah Winfrey

 

 

Take a Pause

 

Take a pause, and then ask yourself: Is my anger in this relationship worth a nuclear bomb?

 

Once you blow up a relationship it’s impossible to ever put the pieces back together again. I know from experience that even if you can find the pieces they never go back quite the same, and that’s because trust is missing from the pile.

Always take that pause. There’s no hurry you know. Time is on your side, and tomorrow? Well, it’s a new day.

“You will not be punished for your anger; you will be punished by your anger.” ~ Buddha

 

 

No Strings Attached

Love without strings. Now that’s a concept, and the way it’s supposed to be—right? It wasn’t all that long ago that I wrote about this very subject in “Unconditional Love and Acceptance.” But because we are facing rough times, and there seems to be so much anger flying around, it might do us all good to think about this again.

Loving each other, the planet we all share, and all of its beings without asking for something to be given in return. That’s pure acceptance and what love is all about.

“Give because you care, not because you want love, approval or a thank you in return. True acts of sharing are done without an agenda or strings attached.”

~ 10 Spiritual Principles of Kabbalah

Wouldn’t we all be much happier if we could take a breath, a step back, and live our lives with open arms of love, and not be so concerned about what’s in it for us? Not have so many rules and conditions for loving, but instead, practice tolerance and compassion for the existence of life itself.

“It is possible to live twenty-four hours a day in a state of love. Every movement, every glance, every thought and every word can be infused with love.”

~ Thich Nhat Hanh

What a great world it would be if only we could live our lives in love with no strings attached.

“A real relationship has fights. Has trust. Has faith. Has tears. Has hurt. Has sweet smiles. Has genuine laughter. Has weird, stupid, unnecessary arguments.”

~ Author Unknown

Wrong Perceptions

“The way in which you perceive the other is determined by your own thought forms.” ~ Eckhart Tolle

Sometimes in life we have perceptions that we truly believe are true. But are they always? Is the person you are mad at today really at fault and are they who you think they are? Do you know all the facts? So many times we rush to conclusion about someone, convincing ourselves that what we believe is true when in fact it simply isn’t.

Why be so quick to judge when all we need to do is deeply listen to what they are saying. In listening maybe we would realize that our perception is wrong and give the other person a chance. This would be so much better than the stories we make up in our head.

When we have persuaded ourselves that our perception about another person is correct we end up saying words that can never be taken back. We make decisions that might change not only the individual’s life, but our life and those who are close to us.

The times we are living in now are full of much anger and unhappiness. We need to find a way around all of that and learn to become more compassionate and accepting. We need each other in order to survive, and maybe starting with our perceptions is a good beginning.

“When we meditate on our perceptions, the Buddha observed, the person who suffers most in this world is the person with many wrong perceptions…. And most of our perceptions are erroneous. We see a snake in the dark and we panic, but when our friend shines a light on it, we see that it is only a rope. We have to know which wrong perceptions cause us to suffer.”  

~ Thich Nhat Hanh

The Breeze

The breeze enters where you stand, gently lifting up the curtains like a tiny ghost at hand. Its power is more fragile than bold, and yet, it’s able to slay angry demons with a big bad sword. And almost like a tender hug, your sadness and despair aren’t hanging around anymore.

What you take from it is up to you for the breeze makes no promises for a better life, but leaves many possibilities lingering behind.

Listen closely to the soft whispering as it drifts away, leaving you stronger and calmer to face another day.

Hate

“It feels better to love than to hate” ~ Stevie Wonder

It’s interesting how when you say the word “hate” how it leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. It’s such a strong in your face kind of word that you can actually feel pain when you say it, or it is said to you.

Hate and anger are best buddies. You can’t have one without the other, and they both seem to populate too often. Everywhere you look some human hates another human. And some of these haters even hate creatures that aren’t human. How can we ever hope to share and live in harmony on this planet if there is so much hatred?

When people hate they have fear inside. They fear what they don’t understand. And when they’re too lazy, or choose to be ignorant and don’t seek knowledge, they hate instead. I always thought as humans became part of the global society they would learn acceptance, but that doesn’t seem to always be true.

What’s happening to love? Is it becoming extinct like the polar bears? Maybe it never actually existed in the first place. Love might be some myth told to us when we were children to keep us feeling safe from a scary world.

Have you ever thought what would happen if everyone stopped all the hatred and started to love instead? Look at all the good we could accomplish on this planet if we put all that positive energy to work. Hate, being negative energy, is just plain wasteful.

Notice when you say the word “LOVE,” how smooth and sweet it sounds. I wish that I heard it more often.

“Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule.” ~ Buddha

Death

“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.” ~ From a headstone in Ireland

In living our busy crazy lives there is one thing that can bring it to a complete halt and that is the death of a loved one. It is also a time when we begin to think of our own mortality, and how we are living our day-to-day lives.

There is our birth, then our death, but in-between there is this life that we sometimes take for granted. We waste away years struggling for things that may or may not ever come our way. We waste time in worrying, regretting, and hold on to anger and the need to always be right.

In living in-between this birth and death, let’s really promise ourselves to live our lives deeply with passion, purpose and always laughter. This is a great way to honor our loved ones who have died.

Listen closely to the gentle whisper in your ear, “Live well, live strong, and most of all enjoy your life as it rolls along.”

Calm Assertiveness

Always be calm and assertive when dealing with people. When you find yourself in a situation with a person who is stressed out or even angry don’t feed into their drama with your own anger. Words spoken in anger can never be erased. Learn to be the calm in the storm and be assertive–never aggressive in handling any charged situation. Your calmness will change the negative energy into a more positive one. But if the situation is very charged with angry energy then just walk away. Stay present in thought.

Every day you are put into situations where anger can arise, and knowing how to contain, not make it worse, and even stop it altogether is very important. Simple family disagreements can explode into pieces that can never be put back together. Anger on the road can become violent. Tensions at work can get way out of hand and make you want to quit your job. Breathe deeply.

Being mindful of what you say and how you act can also be key to some of the anger you encounter. Always treat people with respect and love, and learn to be firm and kind at the same time. Take control lovingly.

Be the guiding light of calm because life flows so much better when we are peaceful little beings.

“Breathing in, I calm body and mind. Breathing out, I smile. Dwelling in the present moment I know this is the only moment.”

 ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Dissolving Expectations

Expectations high and low from you and others will always cause everything around to explode.

We come into the world and find expectations awaiting us from parents filled with hopes and dreams of what they think just should be. As our journey moves forward those expectations grow on and on from teachers, bosses, lovers, and even our own blessed young. Each expectation is always in danger of not measuring up leaving unhappiness, disappointment, anger and even disgust. And what about those we have of ourselves, and those low ones that cause us to self-destruct?

The best way to deal with expectations is to not have them in the first place, but this is a bit unreasonable even for me to believe. So I say, let’s be aware when they appear and dissolve them as quickly as can be. Make a conscious effort to practice Letting Go. “Nonresistance, non judgment, and nonattachment are the three aspects of true freedom and enlightened living.” ~ Eckhart Tolle.

The practice of “Letting Go” makes it possible for you to flow and concentrate on what’s really important. It gets rid of the petty things that keep you a prisoner. When your mind is open you are truly free, and pleasantly surprised how everything fits so perfectly. You are able to accept the people around you without preconceived ideas, and you become accepting of who you are. No more feeling worn out trying to fulfill someone else’s dreams. “Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it.” ~ Eckhart Tolle.

Expectations are just something that you and everyone else just dug up and decide to make into some silly law. Practice dissolving them when they pop up and one day you’ll find them not. Stop hitting your head against that big brick wall and realize life doesn’t have to be so complicated after all.