Memories of Those Gone By

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It’s very painful when we experience the death of a loved one, and the grieving process is different for everyone. One thing to remember is that there is no time limit in grieving. Those that might say, “It’s time to put this behind you,” or, “It’s been a year now and you should be over it…” etc. SHAME ON THEM! There is NO time limit.

When a loved one dies we go through stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance and everything in-between. Every stage is different for each of us, and at some point memories of this person will fill your mind. Remember, memories don’t have to be sad or even make you mad. They can be funny, happy memories that make you laugh and fill you with joy.

My co-worker and I told the children going through the bereavement program that it was okay to laugh, and have funny memories. They looked surprised. But as they talked about their loved ones and told little stories—some sweet and some funny, they seemed to relax and accept that memories can be funny and laughter is always good for the soul.

I love remembering the happy and mostly funny memories of those I have lost. I find it comforting. Sure there were plenty of bad and some very sad times, but I only care to remember the good ones. Sometimes I’m surprised about how many hilarious memories I have. Makes me wonder why I ever thought things were so bad.

Nothing lasts forever and that includes the pain you may be in right now. As long as you can remember, then the memories of your loved ones will never fade. They will bring you comfort on a cold night. They will fill your heart with joy and treasured thoughts, and they will make you laugh as well as cry because of the richness they give your life.

Summer

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What a wonderful time of the year. It’s a time for kicking back, and a time to reconnect with nature. Depending on where you live, summer may be brief so you want to make the most of it. That doesn’t really mean planning big vacations, or having ongoing summer parties. It means letting go and unwinding.

Remember when you were a kid stretched out on the cool grass looking up at the stars in wonder, or swimming by the moonlight? Unstructured time to ourselves is what we all need.

Speaking of being a kid, don’t over structure your children’s summertime. It doesn’t need to be overfilled with organized sports and places to be. At the same time, kids don’t need to be on their electronic devices all the time. It can become an obsession for them and that is never good. Kids need time to play, dream, and just be lazy—maybe watching the clouds float by. Balance is the key.

Nature gives us the gift of summer’s long days and warm nights to go exploring who we are, and to dream of what can be. It’s a valuable time for making memories, and for the soul to grow.

Go outside and take a deep breath and let yourself be part of summer.

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Embrace Your Tears

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We can get embarrassed when we tear up in public, but maybe we shouldn’t. Tears are the way of clearing our bodies of emotion and the stress we carry around. It’s a beautiful way of cleansing and setting our bodies back into balance.

Some people think it’s a sign of weakness, but it’s really a sign of being human and caring. There are tears of joy and tears of pain, but whatever the tears don’t hold them back, let them flow.

It’s true that there are times when you can’t just break down and sob, but you can tear a little bit and maybe sob later. When I’m working with a child in bereavement and he or she starts to cry, it breaks my heart and the tears start to fill my eyes. I can’t just lose it; I have to be there for the child. So I stay in command of my tears by concentrating on helping the child and only letting a few come into my eyes. I also have to get over my embarrassment, but we tell the kids that tears are always okay and maybe seeing tears in my eyes makes that really so.

Feeling joy or pain is part of our journey and so are the tears that accompany all of that. Don’t be afraid; feel what you feel and let yourself connect to the moment and to life itself. We are all just human, so let’s be that. Be a beautiful feeling human.

Full of Life

As I watch a hummingbird fly quickly into sight, and listen to its wings beating, buzzing, like a tiny helicopter as it hovers nearby, I remember the long hard winter so many of them had and wonder if my feeders helped to get this one where she’s at. A big hurry for such a little bird, but sustaining life for its babies tucked nearby in a nest, and for its very existence is what its life is all about. The hummingbird and all of nature instinctively knows how to live life. They know what to do and how to do it. Can we humans say the same?

Spring is bursting with life right in our own backyards, and soon summer’s sun rays will be shining, and life in the wild will be in full bloom. All the creatures are busy and fully engaged in the life they’ve been given. Are we?

Do the creatures in the wild have a secret to living life? They don’t appear to take time, or even have time to fret, fear, or hate. They’re all living in the present and don’t seem to know of past or future. How wonderful to be so mindful. Can’t we?

Just because we are humans shouldn’t mean that we can’t be fully engaged in the life we’ve been given. It may mean we have to shed some of our old ways, but how freeing and light we will be.

Take a deep breath and then let it out slowly, feeling free and light as a feather. Feel the warm sun on your neck. Did you smell the clean air? The flowers? Now, don’t you feel like a bird who wants to take flight, soaring above the clouds?

Nature is full of life and we humans should be too. The secret to life is just letting yourself live your life to the fullest, but that really isn’t a secret. Sometimes it’s just forgotten as we think everything in life is a struggle. Shed your old ways and be committed to living your life.

Look Within

MET-0617-PMR-aIt’s there inside of you just waiting and wanting to come out. Sometimes you have to dig deep because ego has been guarding the entrance to the Spirit. Once you find it, bring the seed into the light and allow it to grow strong. Ego will become smaller and smaller with each growing day, and soon peace and happiness will fill and light the way.