Embrace Your Tears

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We can get embarrassed when we tear up in public, but maybe we shouldn’t. Tears are the way of clearing our bodies of emotion and the stress we carry around. It’s a beautiful way of cleansing and setting our bodies back into balance.

Some people think it’s a sign of weakness, but it’s really a sign of being human and caring. There are tears of joy and tears of pain, but whatever the tears don’t hold them back, let them flow.

It’s true that there are times when you can’t just break down and sob, but you can tear a little bit and maybe sob later. When I’m working with a child in bereavement and he or she starts to cry, it breaks my heart and the tears start to fill my eyes. I can’t just lose it; I have to be there for the child. So I stay in command of my tears by concentrating on helping the child and only letting a few come into my eyes. I also have to get over my embarrassment, but we tell the kids that tears are always okay and maybe seeing tears in my eyes makes that really so.

Feeling joy or pain is part of our journey and so are the tears that accompany all of that. Don’t be afraid; feel what you feel and let yourself connect to the moment and to life itself. We are all just human, so let’s be that. Be a beautiful feeling human.

Danger in a Tone

That old adage, “It’s not what you say, but how you say it,” is so very true. It’s that tone we use that can make all the difference in the world. I don’t think most of us give much thought about how we sound or come off to others. And it’s not just the verbal tone we use, but also the tone we use in print, especially in our e-mails and texts.

Tone represents the mood we are currently in, but not necessarily how we actually feel toward the people or subject we are dealing with at the time. So if we are in a bad mood then how we deal with the people around us verbally or in print will have a hard and sometimes nasty edge to it. This can cause a lot of problems at work and in our private lives. And this can especially be devastating when dealing with children or very sensitive people.

Sometimes it’s hard to know when our tone is off because we are busy people, and always in a hurry. We speak or text very fast before we have really processed all information. Yours truly has made that mistake many times. Usually this happens to me when I get caught up in a situation that I feel is critical and the other person has a different view.

So what do we do about keeping our tone smooth and cordial? “SMILE.” That’s right. Before you open your mouth, or write that offensive line, smile first. It’s pretty hard to say or write anything in a mean tone while smiling.

It doesn’t hurt to remind ourselves to be kind and gentle toward others. We all have stressful days, but a bad or really cruel tone can throw another human off into misery, and I don’t think any of us ever mean to do that.

Life can be hard, so put that smile on your face and let’s watch out for one another.

“Tone has the living soul.” ~ Shinichi Suzuki

The Importance of You

This time of year is joyful for some, but sad for others. Sometimes sadness can bring dark thoughts our way, and depression can find its way in.

You, my friend, are important to me, and I bet to a lot of people. But mostly, you should be important to yourself. I don’t know you so why are you important to me? That’s easy because you are here and alive on this planet that we share, and everything that’s here has a purpose to be; just think about that and you will see.

I know about hard and sad days where you feel so alone. I know how stress can get in the way and muck up our lives. And I also have experienced feeling stupid and useless and wondering if I should care, or maybe just be done with it all. But that’s too easy and I don’t do easy and neither should you.

Sometimes we don’t realize how important we are to others and how much they would suffer if we were not here anymore. Think about all the good and even the bad times you will miss if you decided to be gone. Life is about good times and bad; laughter and sadness do go hand in hand. And you my friend shouldn’t miss even a second of it.

The importance of you and of every single one of us is greater than we will ever know. You matter—we all do, and because of that you will always be important to me. Please be important to you.

“You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop.”

~ Rumi

Live for Today

Live for today and tomorrow will take care of itself. That sounds like good advice as long as you are not foolish and reckless, but mindful instead. Living each day with the purpose of actually showing up and not thinking about tomorrow or trying to replay the mistakes of yesterday is a goal we should all strive for. We don’t have to do great things each day, but we should try to enjoy each day as it comes along.

It’s true not all our todays are pleasant ones. Sometimes they are actually horrible and stressful, but that doesn’t mean that we should discount them. Every day we get is a day that belongs to only us and a day that we are here on planet Earth. Even if it isn’t the best of days we should embrace it and show up the best we can. When our horrible today slips into the past of yesterday we need to let it go and never look back. We then need to welcome our new present today and maybe it will just be a much better day.

In letting the previous day leave take a moment and see if there was a lesson to be learned, or wisdom to take in. In doing this no day goes away without preparing us for all the future days to come. Also, once you do this with the exiting day there will never be a need to hang onto the past. You will be able to just let it go and die off. And die it should because as you already know, if you don’t let the past go there is no way that you can truly live for today.

 

“Yesterday is ashes.

Tomorrow is green wood.

Only today does the fire burn brightly.”

– Eskimo Saying

Slow Down

Slow down, you move too fast
You got to make the morning last
Just kicking down the cobblestones
Looking for fun and feelin’ groovy
Ba da da da da da da, feelin’ groovy

Hello, lamppost, what’cha knowin’?
I’ve come to watch your flowers growin’
Ain’t’cha got no rhymes for me?
Doot-in doo-doo, feelin’ groovy
Ba da da da da da da, feelin’ groovy

I got no deeds to do
No promises to keep
I’m dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep
Let the morning time drop all its petals on me
Life, I love you
All is groovy

~ The 59th Street Bridge Song ( Feelin’ Groovy)  Simon & Garfunkel

Learn to slow yourself down before your kids grow up and move away, and your parents become a thought that you just can’t place. There is life outside of work, bills, the disturbing nightly news, and yes, even struggles that plague you daily. And boy, this life can be really great!

Life can be great if you just let yourself slow down and enjoy the simple things. The beauty of nature right out your back door. The silly smile on your child’s face. The warm breeze that tickles the back of your neck, and maybe even the sound of silence when you take a short nap.

The point is, slow down and just be in your life instead of somewhere else. It may not seem like it now, but I can assure you it’s true, life goes by very fast and it can pass right over you. And, no matter how hard you try, you just can’t get it to come back. So, as  cliche’ as it sounds, just stop and smell the roses while you can.

Go For It

“Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go.”  ~ T.S. Eliot

Don’t let anything in life get in the way of what you truly want. Keep those dreams and plans and simply go for it. Obstacles do appear from time to time and make our lives stressful, but you have to kick the barriers down and go for what you want.

“A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he be at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be.” ~ Abraham Maslow

I know it’s hard sometimes, and life can sure get us down. But don’t be rolling up in a ball and hiding from all the hassles that keep raining down. Pick yourself up–I know you can, and then just do what you need to do and see how far you can go. In the long run, you’ll be happy that you did, and you just might surprise yourself at how far you’ll go.

Life is what you make it and it can become your friend, or foe, so why not just decide to make it your friend and flow.

“As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.”

~  Johann Wolfgang von Goethe