“The ego says, ‘I shouldn’t have to suffer,’ and that thought makes you suffer so much more. The truth is that you need to say yes to suffering before you can transcend it.” ~ Eckhart Tolle

We humans are fragile but at the same time strong beings. We get into trouble when our egos get hurt. We all want to be loved and accepted and when we’re not we feel not only hurt but sometimes anger.

Hurt can cause us to become selfish as we start to close down to everyone around us. We can become consumed with our own feelings of rejection that we become unable to love or accept love.

Never let yourself be so blinded by your own pain that you can’t see and feel the pain you have caused others.

“Love the heart that hurts you, but never hurt the heart that loves you.”  ~ Vipin Sharma

The quote by Sharma makes sense when someone you love does something to hurt you. Perhaps they really didn’t mean it, but it still hurts.

Feelings of hurt are just part of our journey and the best thing to do is let yourself feel it then let it go. Don’t ever let hurt stick to you. Use it as another lesson on your journey.

“Feel the feeling and drop the story.” ~ Pema Chodron

The Importance of You

This time of year is joyful for some, but sad for others. Sometimes sadness can bring dark thoughts our way, and depression can find its way in.

You, my friend, are important to me, and I bet to a lot of people. But mostly, you should be important to yourself. I don’t know you so why are you important to me? That’s easy because you are here and alive on this planet that we share, and everything that’s here has a purpose to be; just think about that and you will see.

I know about hard and sad days where you feel so alone. I know how stress can get in the way and muck up our lives. And I also have experienced feeling stupid and useless and wondering if I should care, or maybe just be done with it all. But that’s too easy and I don’t do easy and neither should you.

Sometimes we don’t realize how important we are to others and how much they would suffer if we were not here anymore. Think about all the good and even the bad times you will miss if you decided to be gone. Life is about good times and bad; laughter and sadness do go hand in hand. And you my friend shouldn’t miss even a second of it.

The importance of you and of every single one of us is greater than we will ever know. You matter—we all do, and because of that you will always be important to me. Please be important to you.

“You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop.”

~ Rumi


No matter how old we are negative fragments from our childhood seem to travel along with us. Most of the time we pay them no mind, or don’t even realize they are hitching a ride with us. Then one day something happens in our lives and a chain reaction takes place and those little fragments come alive and blow up in our face. And it will happen again and again until we decide to eradicate the little monsters and set ourselves free.

“Our sorrows and wounds are healed only when we touch them with compassion.” 

“No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.”

~ Buddha

Make today the day that the past ends and the present begins. show compassion to yourself and suffer no more. Facing those who have hurt you rarely works because egos get in the way and conversation becomes a ping-pong ball match where there are no winners.

In the end, the only true way to do way with past fragments is to open a door in your mind and let them out. And leave they will, when the decision to live only “Now” is finally made. Once all the fragments are out, the next thing to do …  learn to Forget.

“If you live in the past you get what the past gives you–bad experiences.”  ~ Cesar Millan

Your Life Is in Your Hands

“Suffering is necessary until you realize it is unnecessary.”
~ Eckhart Tolle

Take a stand today and realize that your life is simply and completely in your own hands. If you have been suffering over some situation in your life then you, and only you, have made that decision–the decision to suffer.

Suffering should not be part of your life’s journey because it’s negative energy and will get you nowhere. Walk away and leave the suffering behind and find the path that will lead you to your purpose. There is no magic in this and no one can do this for you. You were born with free will and only you have the power to make the necessary changes in your life.

Your life is in your hands, but the real question is, how will you handle this precious, fragile, life that you hold? Will you give it the chance to find its purpose, or will you weight it down and hold it hostage?

“The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.”
~ Coco Chanel

Change Your Thinking

“A negative mind will never give you a positive life.”   ~ Unknown

Have you ever noticed that when you are in a negative mood nothing seems to go right? Life is just crappy when you feel negative. But when you finally decide to be positive everything in your life starts to look up. And this new sparkle you now have in your life is there because you changed your thinking.

Being negative about one thing catches more negative feelings and clutters up your life. But thinking in a positive way just seems to clear all that mess out of your life and makes it flow so much better. Yes, it’s true, sometimes bad things just seem to happen for no apparent reason and it can put you in a very negative frame of mind. But don’t let your negative thinking stay with you too long because if you do, the normally happy you will be gone.

It can take a bit of work to keep positive during a storm when the dark clouds are closing in, but fighting for that happy positive feeling is worth so much more than you might even know. Your overall health will benefit greatly, and maybe even your longevity. Relationships and your job will go so much more smoothly, and this precious life of yours that you sometimes take for granted, well, it will become richer and just seem to have so much more meaning.

Get out that broom and clean up all the cobwebs of misery that have been accumulating in your head for decades, and then only invite the positive thoughts in to play. Hey, isn’t this the way life is meant to be?

“You are not a helpless victim of your own thoughts, but rather a master of your own mind.” ~ Louise Hay

You’re Never Really Alone If…

Sometimes you feel alone and think no one really cares what kind of day you’re having, and maybe they don’t. You may feel this way in a crowd, or even spending time with family or friends. Sometimes it seems like no one is listening or seeing you. Maybe you’re right and nobody really cares, but you know what? It doesn’t matter because you don’t have to feel this way if you can learn to get out from underneath yourself and connect to something greater than YOU! Everyone around you is involved in their own life drama, and it’s up to you to take care of yourself and stop looking at others to provide your mental well-being.

Try getting out in nature and connecting to the abundance it provides. Nature has so much to offer and is in constant movement and change and full of wonderment. To be out in nature is to feel truly alive.

 Ralph Waldo Emerson said it perfectly: “Each moment of the year has its own beauty … a picture which was never before and shall never be seen again.”

Instead of focusing on yourself, focus on some other being–human or not. At work, strive to put a smile on a co-worker or client’s face. Don’t do this for your own gain, just do it for them. Volunteer your time at an animal shelter, or child crisis center. The point is that when you get out from underneath your own feelings and center yourself out into the world, you start feeling better about who you are and what you do, and you won’t feel so alone anymore.

Always take good care of yourself, but don’t get so involved with yourself. When you’re mindful to all that’s around you–just the simple things in life, great joy will bubble up inside of you. Sadness, depression, all the negative things you’ve been putting your attention on just go away and are replaced with positive feelings.

Learn to connect to something greater and you will begin to carve out a life of possibilities, and a life where you’re never really alone.

“Far away in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.” ~ Louisa May Alcott

Two Roads

You have a choice which road you choose to travel on. One is full of bumps and pain, and the other is smooth as glass where it almost never rains. But seriously, you have a choice so why do you keep choosing the road that brings you so much pain? I bet you think bad luck follows you and there is no escaping. But bad luck isn’t following anyone, you just don’t seem to realize that you keep choosing the wrong road to travel on.

So how do you get off that bad damn road and get yourself on the one smiles are made from? It’s easy, stop thinking the way you have always been thinking. Sounds simple doesn’t it? Just too simple to actually be true. It seems to me that humans have a way of complicating each and every day. Don’t be miserable, be happy instead. It’s all about what you choose. You have the power to make or break your day and even your whole life! That’s a lot of power you’re wielding there my friend. I bet you didn’t even know you had it in you.

There are two roads and I know for certain which one I’m going to travel on. I want to feel happy and alive, so I will always choose the road where the sun always shines. If something bad comes my way, I won’t let it rain on my parade, because how I choose to think will always determine my day.

Each morning before you get out of bed, make a promise to yourself that absolutely nothing will ruin your day. Your life is your responsibility–take control.

“Take your life in your own hands and what happens? A terrible thing: no one is to blame.” ~ Erica Jong


You experience all kinds of feelings during a normal day, but how do you handle them? The good ones make you smile and even laugh out loud. They make you happy and lighter than air. But the bad and sad ones you probably stuff way deep inside your soul and they make you ache.

All feelings need to be addressed and honored, because if ignored and abandoned they will not go away, but will instead stay inside your soul festering until they find their way out in disturbing ways.

Learn to get in touch with your feelings, and learn to express them in a way that frees you, and doesn’t cause pain in someone else. When someone has hurt you, don’t just soldier up and go on, but let the person know in a calm assertive way how you feel. Be a problem solver not a problem maker. Express your feelings in art, journaling, dance, just to name a few.

Grief over the loss of a loved one especially needs to be addressed. Don’t be afraid to remember them, because if you try to forget them you’re not letting yourself go through the natural grieving process which is important so you can go on with your life in a healthy way. Shoving the pain deep inside will only make you hurt worse.

Your feelings ebb and flow like the tides of the sea. Feelings are what make you human, and teach you much about yourself. Once you accept, understand, and find the right way to communicate them, you will be liberated and on to a life of happiness.

“There is a candle in your heart, ready to be kindled.
There is a void in your soul, ready to be filled.
You feel it, don’t you?”  ~ Rumi

Don’t Care

Caring about what other people think of you is living too much by your ego. Children live by their egos and have a great need for peer acceptance and suffer greatly when they are rejected. They need the guidance of parents and other nurturers to help them realize that they shouldn’t care what other people think of them. But the need for acceptance is so strong that children usually don’t listen to the guidance that is given and become puppets to the peers they strive to impress.

Unfortunately, many people never grow out of the need for acceptance and are very concerned about how they are viewed. They are constantly trying to make an impression and spend a lot of time worrying about what they did or didn’t do, and how they can win someone over, be liked, and maybe just be loved.

When you are living your life this way you really aren’t living your life. You are just going around in circles trying too hard to be liked. What you need to do is stop caring what others think, and stop thinking about yourself. Dig deep inside your soul and figure out what makes you happy and brings you peace and do that. Care about other people not so they will accept you, but because you truly care.

You are meant to have a happy fulfilled life, but that won’t happen if you are always too concerned about what others think of you, and if you’re in constant need for acceptance.

Take a deep breath, be good to your soul, and you be the one to accept yourself. Make sure good deeds come from your heart and not your mind, and do kind things when no one is looking, and there’s no prize in sight.

“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.”  ~ Lao Tzu

Are You Stuck?

“Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what
matters most.” ~ Buddha

Are you stuck in a job or relationship and afraid to make a change? It’s easy to think that things will just get better and work out if you just hang in there. But sometimes they don’t and you know in your gut that they never will, but you just can’t seem to make a change in your life. What is causing this is fear of the unknown. You know the misery you are living in, but you don’t know what’s out there in that big bad world that might be worse.

I like what the famous fashion designer, Diane Von Furstenberg’s mother taught her, “Fear is not an option.” This quote came from a woman who was a concentration camp survivor. Wow! That’s all I can say. Someone who went through that probably never felt fear in her life again and passed that knowledge on to her daughter. What a wonderful thing to teach a child, but before you can do that, you have to believe it yourself.

It can be hard to get unstuck, but if you value yourself it’s something you must do. Putting up with a horrible relationship might keep you in the house you love, but it will never be a home. A home is filled with warmth and love. Putting up with a job you hate will pay the bills and maybe grow your savings, but it will never grow your soul–in fact, it will beat it down.

Believe in yourself and love yourself more than the bad relationship or job, and so much more than the fear that holds you down. Change is never easy, but nothing worthwhile in life ever is. Taking the steps to free yourself from the self-imposed chains that you’ve become accustomed to will open up a world that you never thought was possible. It will be a world where you can soar as high as you like and where fear will never be an option.

“Any action is often better than no action, especially if you have been stuck in an unhappy situation for a long time. If it is a mistake, at least you learn something, in which case it’s no longer a mistake. If you remain stuck, you learn nothing.”  

~Eckhart Tolle