Nostalgia

“That it will never come again is what makes life so sweet.” ~ Emily Dickinson

It’s so hard to find positive quotes on nostalgia. The very definition is “Sentimental longing for the past,” and most quotes have to do with that longing and a kind of sadness. I like what Emily Dickinson had to say about nostalgia.

Nostalgia came about for me when my two granddaughters spent the night. Since they are thirteen and very busy with friends etc. I don’t see them as often as I used to. The room that they sleep in—which was once their mother’s room, has some toys and fragments of things that go way back to when they were really little. Since I don’t know when they’ll be coming back to spend the night, I thought we’d take the opportunity and see what they wanted to keep and what to give away, or recycle.

I found my memories dancing around of endless times playing with dolls with them. Board games, coloring books, old purses and things they made that now they have no use for. So much stuff that in the past they would have never let go. But I didn’t feel sad. I just felt amazed at how mature they have become, and how lucky I am to have played with them all these years. The stuff animals that once belonged to their mom, and books that I had read over and over, plus the very loved doll house, they want to keep. These items are over forty years old, and it’s special to know that maybe there will be a whole new generation enjoying these toys.

Of all the things I’ve experienced in life, I’ll have to say that the gift of raising my two daughters and being a grandmother I am most grateful for. Those times were not always easy. In fact, many times they were difficult. But I’m thankful for the good, bad, and the ugly of it all. That’s what life is really about. You learn to flow through it all and be grateful you’re alive to do so.

“Nostalgia is simply the result of aging and liking the life you’ve lived. Be happy you can feel it—it’s a good sign.” ~Anthony Marais

Put a positive spin on nostalgia. Whatever you’ve experienced in life be happy for it all. The bitter with the sweet moves our life along. No one ever said it was going to be easy, and that’s where expectations should be thrown out. Indeed, tomorrow is promised to no one.

Cherish all that comes your way, and let your heart feel warm and full that you got to be in the game of life this far. How lucky you are.

Clear the Cache of Your Mind

“Know that the only important house to clean is your mind.”
~ Byron Katie

Just like our computers we need to occasionally clear our cache memory of hidden thoughts that can make us unhappy. We all store our thoughts in this cache and it makes it convenient for our egos to grab them fast putting us in worry unhappy mode. Sometimes we’re going about our day just fine when all of a sudden we see or hear something that makes those thoughts pop out seemingly out of nowhere. And sometimes thought gremlins visit us at night when we are supposed to be sleeping. If this happens too often then it’s a sign we need to clear our mind’s cache.

There are many ways to clear your mind. Try expressing your thoughts by writing or drawing. Talk with a trusted friend. Some people love to run, or swim. I like yoga and mindful meditation, and of course, writing. The key is to find what works for you. And the key is to become aware of your feelings before those feelings become aware of you. Letting your cache get clogged up will make you miserable.

The world we live in is an upside down place with many challenges, and that makes it super important that we take good care of ourselves. You, my beautiful humans, are unique. There is no one on earth like you, and when you’re gone no one will ever be able to replace you. Please take good care of your wonderful precious mind and live your life free and happy even if sometimes like me, you are slipping and sliding along your journey.

“The mind is like water. When it’s turbulent, it’s difficult to see. When it’s calm, everything becomes clear.” ~ Prasad Mahes

Memories of Those Gone By

“Those we love can never be more than a thought away … for as long as there’s a memory they live in our hearts to stay.”

Author Unknown

It’s very painful when we experience the death of a loved one, and the grieving process is different for everyone. One thing to remember is that there is no time limit in grieving. Those that might say, “It’s time to put this behind you,” or, “It’s been a year now and you should be over it…” etc. SHAME ON THEM! There is NO time limit.

When a loved one dies we go through stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance and everything in-between. Every stage is different for each of us, and at some point memories of this person will fill your mind. Remember, memories don’t have to be sad or even make you mad. They can be funny, happy memories that make you laugh and fill you with joy.

My co-worker and I told the children going through the bereavement program that it was okay to laugh, and have funny memories. They looked surprised. But as they talked about their loved ones and told little stories—some sweet and some funny, they seemed to relax and accept that memories can be funny and laughter is always good for the soul.

I love remembering the happy and mostly funny memories of those I have lost. I find it comforting. Sure there were plenty of bad and some very sad times, but I only care to remember the good ones. Sometimes I’m surprised about how many hilarious memories I have. Makes me wonder why I ever thought things were so bad.

Nothing lasts forever and that includes the pain you may be in right now. As long as you can remember, then the memories of your loved ones will never fade. They will bring you comfort on a cold night. They will fill your heart with joy and treasured thoughts, and they will make you laugh as well as cry because of the richness they give your life.

Summer

 

 

“Summer is the annual permission slip to be lazy. To do nothing and have it count for something. To lie in the grass and count the stars. To sit on a branch and study the clouds.” ~ Regina Brett

What a wonderful time of the year. It’s a time for kicking back, and a time to reconnect with nature. Depending on where you live, summer may be brief so you want to make the most of it. That doesn’t really mean planning big vacations, or having ongoing summer parties. It means letting go and unwinding.

Remember when you were a kid stretched out on the cool grass looking up at the stars in wonder, or swimming by the moonlight? Unstructured time to ourselves is what we all need.

Speaking of being a kid, don’t over structure your children’s summertime. It doesn’t need to be overfilled with organized sports and places to be. At the same time, kids don’t need to be on their electronic devices all the time. It can become an obsession for them and that is never good. Kids need time to play, dream, and just be lazy—maybe watching the clouds float by. Balance is the key.

Nature gives us the gift of summer’s long days and warm nights to go exploring who we are, and to dream of what can be. It’s a valuable time for making memories, and for the soul to grow.

Go outside and take a deep breath and let yourself be part of summer.

“Summertime is always the best of what might be.” ~ Charles Bowden

 

Sweet Memories Vs. Past Demons

“All you really need to remember is that NOW is where the past ends and the future begins.” ~ Robert Holden

Enjoy your sweet memories of days gone by–there is nothing wrong with thinking about and reliving the good past memories we all have. Trouble only begins when we live only in the past and forget about living and enjoying the present. Trouble also happens when we let the past invade the now of our lives and deposit little demons that keep us from being truly happy.

I used to tell my mother if she absolutely had to revisit something in her past to make a very short visit and get out quickly! It didn’t always work very well because she would get herself stuck there and the demons would rain down on her. She would try to chase them away with wine, tranquilizers, and the occasional highball, but none proved very effective. I even tried getting her to visualize lighting a match to the past, but she would just say, “I can’t.”

“Nothing ever happened in the past that can prevent you from being present now.” ~ Eckhart Tolle

Treasure and let yourself flow along with those sweet beautiful memories of your life experiences, but never allow the painful demons of your past to interfere with the life you are leading right now.

Always remember, besides being a good person and giving back, you are supposed to be enjoying your life. Submerge yourself in the beauty all around and in life itself, and never ever say,

“I can’t” because you know you always CAN!

Frantic Pace

Running, running, just hurrying everywhere. Life’s demands keep you in despair. Do you know where you’re going? Do you know where you’ve been? You’re going in circles and there’s no end. Every day that you live this way pieces of your life simply slipping away. Was that your last child going out the door? How silly of you to think it would all just wait.

Stop your frantic pace! What’s the worst that could happen? Oh, I see, you think the world would actually come to an end. I have news for you my friend. The world will go on and on whether you’re in it or not. But ask yourself, what will your loved ones remember if you died today? Probably how hard you worked and never played. What kind of memories are you building right now that quite possibly could end up being your last day?

It’s time to stop and take stock of how you are living each and every day. Building careers is important and money is too, but ask yourself how much you are willing to trade your life for those two. Somewhere in all of this there just has to be a middle ground, but it’s completely up to you to do the looking around.

Go deep within yourself and connect to your Spirit finding the true you and what you’re supposed to do. It won’t be easy, but as you know, nothing on this journey that is truly worthwhile ever is so.

Take a deep breath, look at your life and see all the things that you are flying right by. You can do it, I know you can. A good life is waiting just for you to grab while you can.

“Every day is a gift for those who really believe that every day is a gift!” ~ Robert Holden

 

Past

You might think reliving the past is a bad thing, but it’s not always true. Going back to the past and reliving the good stuff can be enjoyable. It’s about the memories you make on your life’s journey and it’s fun sometimes to think about and remember what you’ve experienced. It can bring a smile to your face and even laughter.

You get into trouble when you relive bad memories and end up stuck in the past of hell. Sometimes this happens because of traumatic events you have experienced without any kind of resolution. Or, it might be feelings of remorse for things you’ve done and are now holding yourself accountable. On your journey, you are going to make mistakes and you have to own up to that, but then you have to let it go and move on.

I don’t know if you can break the cycle of reliving the bad past, but I do know that you can stop the frequency. If you can accept the fact that the past only exists in your mind, and therefore you can do nothing to change it, you’re halfway there. As you mature through your life you are growing and therefore changing how you look at things. The way you handled a situation yesterday may not be the way you would handle it today. Put five to twenty years on that yesterday and you know you certainly would handle it differently. You do the best you can at each stage of your life.

You have to learn to just let the past go and choose to remember only the happy moments of your life. My mom lived deeply in the past of hell and loved to talk on and on about all the sad and bad that had happened. I used to tell her, “Mom, just light a match to the past and burn it away,” but she just couldn’t seem to let go and she died holding on tightly to her past. Every day is just too precious to live life that way.

The past is the past and nothing you do now can change it. When you allow yourself to think about the dark times you bring life to something that is dead. Tony Robbins said “Pain is a part of life, but suffering isn’t.” Every time you allow yourself to be stuck in the painful past you are choosing to suffer.

If you can accept all of this, you have finally arrived. You are now free to live a happy life with only good memories to warm your heart.