Nostalgia

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“That it will never come again is what makes life so sweet.” ~ Emily Dickinson

It’s so hard to find positive quotes on nostalgia. The very definition is “Sentimental longing for the past,” and most quotes have to do with that longing and a kind of sadness. I like what Emily Dickinson had to say about nostalgia.

Nostalgia came about for me when my two granddaughters spent the night. Since they are thirteen and very busy with friends etc. I don’t see them as often as I used to. The room that they sleep in—which was once their mother’s room, has some toys and fragments of things that go way back to when they were really little. Since I don’t know when they’ll be coming back to spend the night, I thought we’d take the opportunity and see what they wanted to keep and what to give away, or recycle.

I found my memories dancing around of endless times playing with dolls with them. Board games, coloring books, old purses and things they made that now they have no use for. So much stuff that in the past they would have never let go. But I didn’t feel sad. I just felt amazed at how mature they have become, and how lucky I am to have played with them all these years. The stuff animals that once belonged to their mom, and books that I had read over and over, plus the very loved doll house, they want to keep. These items are over forty years old, and it’s special to know that maybe there will be a whole new generation enjoying these toys.

Of all the things I’ve experienced in life, I’ll have to say that the gift of raising my two daughters and being a grandmother I am most grateful for. Those times were not always easy. In fact, many times they were difficult. But I’m thankful for the good, bad, and the ugly of it all. That’s what life is really about. You learn to flow through it all and be grateful you’re alive to do so.

“Nostalgia is simply the result of aging and liking the life you’ve lived. Be happy you can feel it—it’s a good sign.” ~Anthony Marais

Put a positive spin on nostalgia. Whatever you’ve experienced in life be happy for it all. The bitter with the sweet moves our life along. No one ever said it was going to be easy, and that’s where expectations should be thrown out. Indeed, tomorrow is promised to no one.

Cherish all that comes your way, and let your heart feel warm and full that you got to be in the game of life this far. How lucky you are.

Frustration

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We all experience frustration; maybe some of us more than others. But from time to time, it’s bound to happen, and it’s not pleasant. It can be caused by small things and big things, and by having expectations, and holding on for dear life what we want to achieve. Sometimes we are just too hard on ourselves.

“When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.” ~ Confucius

I’ve been frustrated lately dealing with a cat that has a chronic illness. This is a middle-aged outdoor cat that the humans in her life have let down. She chose my husband and me to save her. We weren’t prepared to take on the care of an animal, but here we are. It’s been expensive, interrupted sleep, and medication issues. It has pretty much consumed us. Some people would think this is a silly thing to be frustrated about, and compared to so many other things like dealing with a sick child, or other human, or financial problems, it’s pretty minor. But like I said before, frustration comes with small and big issues. It doesn’t matter what the cause is. What matters is feeling frustrated is not a good way to be living.

I found that I wasn’t flexible with my goals concerning this little cat, and my expectations were too high. So I took a deep breath and said to myself: “Let go and step back, and let things flow.” Every time I feel frustrated I say this to myself and actually visualize letting go and stepping back. Since I’ve been doing this, I am feeling more balanced and not so consumed by this little being. She appears to be doing better, and actually enjoys spending time indoors. The holistic medication and new diet are also starting to work for her.

I believe that life is all about the lessons we need to learn. I think this cat is in my life to help me learn not to be so intense; slow down and just relax and trust the life force that’s inside of me. So I only got one dose of the medication in her. Start fresh tomorrow. There’s just so much you can do with cats and their attitudes. It’s the same with people. Inside every frustration there is a lesson waiting.

When we let go and take a step back we make space for clarity, and new ideas form showing a better way. If you’re feeling frustrated, ask yourself what lesson you need to learn and then to help things along try letting go, stepping back, and see how free and clear your thoughts become.

“Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know.” ~ Pema Chodron

Be Present and Thrive

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Live without regrets, expectations, or fears. Simply be in the Now.

Being an adult is hard sometimes. Life can get us down. So try living your life with the imagination of a child, always viewing life in wonderment. Just be Present.

Smile, and believe in possibilities; believe in You.

Simple and Still

Cannon Beach

The holiday season can get out of hand, and instead of being joyful it can become stressful. The best way to combat this is to stop doing so much. Try and keep the gift giving, social engagements, and even baking, simple. Don’t try to keep up with what your friends, family, and co-workers are doing. Don’t feed your expectations. Just keep your life simple.

Give yourself the gift of silence. Get very still and listen. When we are still everything becomes clearer. The universe speaks to us, and in the silence, we can actually hear. Make time for “You” by being still and just breathe in life.

May this holiday season and 2020 bring all of you a happy and balanced life that is fully lived without excuses or regrets.

Meet People Where They’re At

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Don’t push your agenda on anyone, or try and change how someone feels. Just listen and be there for the humans in your life. And certainly never have any expectations of how things should be.

Take the time in your busy life to sit down and pay attention without judgment to what a person has to say. You will be surprised how much better your relationships will be if you meet people where they’re at, and always have compassion.

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them – that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”
~ Lao Tzu

Baggage

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Dealing with baggage can be a real pain. We stuff things in that we don’t know if we’ll really need, and it tends to get heavy. We carry it and drag it all over the place, and we wonder why we packed what we packed. Now that’s real physical baggage. What about emotional baggage? We can sure pack a lot of emotional baggage during our journey, and it’s not just us doing the packing. Like physical bags, emotional baggage can get very difficult to handle.

We start out with our parents packing all kinds of things into a bag for us. Now, our parents don’t mean us any harm. I’m speaking of course about most parents. I realize there are exceptions. Parents in fact usually want the best for us. But they only know what they know and are doing the best they can. That being said, guilt and all kinds of rules of who and what we should be and believe in get stuffed in there. This can cause a lot of confusion in our minds where we sometimes come up short of their expectations and maybe our own. Other family members can also add to our load.

As we travel along this journey we experience many negative situations in the form of friends, lovers, co-workers, and complete strangers. All of these people and the experiences they bring get stuffed in our bags causing us to become overwhelmed. The baggage just becomes too much for us to cart around and we can become sick. We don’t know what to do and start to feel that we are stuck with this baggage forever.

Have you ever thought about just letting go of the baggage? Walking away from it, or imagining pushing it off a cliff? You can do all of these things. Just because a bag was packed for you and grew along the way, doesn’t mean you have to keep it anymore. You just have to let go. It’s that simple. By letting go you stop being a prisoner of your mind. If you let go of all your baggage you start living in the present and you let the past be just that.

I know you can do it. You can be happy and free. You might not realize it, but you and only you have the power to make any change you want to in your life. Once you realize this you can start to really live the life you were meant to live. Come on, use your power and live a full life, and get rid of the baggage that is holding you back.

“At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.” ~ Lao Tzu

Take a Pause

 

Take a pause, and then ask yourself: Is my anger in this relationship worth a nuclear bomb?

 

Once you blow up a relationship it’s impossible to ever put the pieces back together again. I know from experience that even if you can find the pieces they never go back quite the same, and that’s because trust is missing from the pile.

Always take that pause. There’s no hurry you know. Time is on your side, and tomorrow? Well, it’s a new day.

“You will not be punished for your anger; you will be punished by your anger.” ~ Buddha

 

 

Dissolving Expectations

Expectations high and low from you and others will always cause everything around to explode.

We come into the world and find expectations awaiting us from parents filled with hopes and dreams of what they think just should be. As our journey moves forward those expectations grow on and on from teachers, bosses, lovers, and even our own blessed young. Each expectation is always in danger of not measuring up leaving unhappiness, disappointment, anger and even disgust. And what about those we have of ourselves, and those low ones that cause us to self-destruct?

The best way to deal with expectations is to not have them in the first place, but this is a bit unreasonable even for me to believe. So I say, let’s be aware when they appear and dissolve them as quickly as can be. Make a conscious effort to practice Letting Go. “Nonresistance, non judgment, and nonattachment are the three aspects of true freedom and enlightened living.” ~ Eckhart Tolle.

The practice of “Letting Go” makes it possible for you to flow and concentrate on what’s really important. It gets rid of the petty things that keep you a prisoner. When your mind is open you are truly free, and pleasantly surprised how everything fits so perfectly. You are able to accept the people around you without preconceived ideas, and you become accepting of who you are. No more feeling worn out trying to fulfill someone else’s dreams. “Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it.” ~ Eckhart Tolle.

Expectations are just something that you and everyone else just dug up and decide to make into some silly law. Practice dissolving them when they pop up and one day you’ll find them not. Stop hitting your head against that big brick wall and realize life doesn’t have to be so complicated after all.