Treasure Box

While house sitting for my daughter, I awoke one morning to the sun streaming through the bedroom window and a warm furry body that was wrapped around my legs purring. I stirred enjoying waking up this way and my movement sent a signal to the gentle giant sleeping at the foot of the bed. Loud, and fast, this Lab/Dane mix made his way to where my head was peeking out from the covers. Nuzzling me very insistently, there was no way of escaping his excitement that yes, indeed, I was awake and a new day was waiting eagerly for us. I laughed as I thought to myself, “What a wonderful way to begin a day!”

Maybe your day begins with the pitter-patter of tiny feet in footed pjs making its way down the hallway to the warmth of your bed for morning cuddle time. Oh, that sweet smell of childhood, and uncomplicated innocent love. Now, that’s the way to start a day!

Unless I’m house sitting for my daughter, my mornings usually start with the wonderful smell of coffee brewing; sometimes birds chirping, and if I’m lucky, the sun beaming through the curtains. But even if it’s a gray or rainy day, I’m excited to get up and see what is in store for me. Every day presents a treasure box to find and open up, discovering the wonders of life, and all you can learn and try to be.

It doesn’t matter how you wake up to your day. It only matters that like my furry friends, or the curiosity of a child, you too want to get up and start your day ready for the adventure.

This is truly living and embracing your life, and just maybe what life is about. Don’t ever give up on yourself and think there’s no use in living. Your dark days will pass, they always do, and soon the light will appear once again. And when it does, bath in it, believe in it, and look for your treasure box each and every day.

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Embrace the Seasons

Every season has a special gift for us if we just learn to embrace each and everyone.

Fall is the time to simply let go—just like the leaves of the trees. Let go of all your old resentments, anxiety, sadness, and all horrible negativities you are hoarding. These nasty things are keeping you from being the wonderful person deep inside of you. Let the windy days of fall blow it all far away. “Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall.”  ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald

Winter is the time to cozy in with loved ones, and maybe slow down a bit. In slowing down we now have made room for some deep soul thinking. We don’t have to be housebound because there’s plenty of wonderful things to enjoy in winter’s nature with the knowing that a hot cup of cocoa is waiting for us in the warm inside. “Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home.” ~ Edith Sitwell

Spring brings us new beginnings and always a chance for a fresh start. As we watch the birds building their nests and the squirrels scurrying about and the flowers coming into bloom we start to feel the energy of renewal. We feel alive with the promise that things will be better. “Springtime is the land awakening. The March winds are the morning yawn.” ~ Lewis Grizzard

Summer as many of you know is my favorite of all the seasons. This is probably because I have the happiest childhood memories from summer. Longer days, warm sun on my back, running barefoot through the cool grass, and playing outside until the stars came out and my mother had to drag me into the house! Summer is a time to remember being a child and to incorporate the free spirit of childhood back into our lives. “Summertime is always the best of what might be.”
~ Charles Bowden

Whatever the season, embrace it fully. Use it to grow your soul and become the who inside of you.

Fragments

No matter how old we are negative fragments from our childhood seem to travel along with us. Most of the time we pay them no mind, or don’t even realize they are hitching a ride with us. Then one day something happens in our lives and a chain reaction takes place and those little fragments come alive and blow up in our face. And it will happen again and again until we decide to eradicate the little monsters and set ourselves free.

“Our sorrows and wounds are healed only when we touch them with compassion.” 

“No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.”

~ Buddha

Make today the day that the past ends and the present begins. show compassion to yourself and suffer no more. Facing those who have hurt you rarely works because egos get in the way and conversation becomes a ping-pong ball match where there are no winners.

In the end, the only true way to do way with past fragments is to open a door in your mind and let them out. And leave they will, when the decision to live only “Now” is finally made. Once all the fragments are out, the next thing to do …  learn to Forget.

“If you live in the past you get what the past gives you–bad experiences.”  ~ Cesar Millan

Childhood Holds the Key to Your Purpose

Do you feel you’re living your life the way it was meant to be? If not, then the key to your purpose is hidden away in your childhood. Look deep within and remember what it was that got your attention and excited you and that will be the purpose you were supposed to follow. Maybe you had more than one–lucky you! But know, there is at least one.

Sometimes life gets in the way and purpose gets lost in the shuffle, but you can always find it again. Until you find and follow your purpose you will never be completely happy. There will always be something missing.

It doesn’t matter what your obligations are, how much time in a day you have, or how old you are, because it’s never too late to find and follow your purpose.

Close your eyes and go back to the discover days of your childhood. Your purpose is there somewhere. Maybe it’s hiding in the toy box of dreams, or at your best friend, Betty’s house. Probably it got lost on your wedding day, or most likely when the first baby came along. We all have junk drawers, maybe it’s been there all long.

“The words on the tombstone read: Died at 30; buried at 60. This is the risk you take when you stop taking risks.”

~ Robert Holden

You were born for a reason; don’t be afraid, go and find it.

Fear

Don’t let fear rob you of your life. If you let it, fear can get in the way of you becoming the “who” you are supposed to be. Fearful thoughts can come from many places, and many times they go all the way back to our childhood. But if we are to live in the “now” we can’t let the past dictate how we want to live our lives today.

Conquering fear is simply not listening to the negative ideas from the people around us. And especially not listening to our egos that put negative thoughts into our head, such as: Bad things will happen, there will be pain and suffering, you will fail, you’re too shy, not smart enough, you’ll embarrass yourself, and on and on.

“The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” ~ Nelson Mandela

It’s easy to get caught up in fear because the times we are living in are very challenging. Many of us are out of work, or worry about losing jobs. The cost of living just keeps going up and of course, war is always looming over our heads. With all of this, the future can seem pretty bleak, and a perfect setup for fear to bloom, but don’t let it. Remember, most of the things we fear never happen.

Facing your fear and getting out of your comfort zone is also a great way of conquering it. Go ahead and walk right into that fear, instead of running from it. Once you do that, a wonderful feeling comes over you and it’s called “Confidence.” You become a new person in this mode and life is so much sweeter.

It may take time to rid yourself of fear, but as I always suggest, just take baby steps and you will get there. And when the day comes that your fear is gone, a new you will emerge ready to live the life you are destined to live.

Go out there and live your life “Fear Free.”

Resolution

“One reason we love fiction is because stories have a comforting shape. They provide a resolution that’s lacking in our regular lives.”
~ Patrick Rothfuss

I was thinking the other day how some families just seem to get along and I wondered what their secret was. I finally realized that the secret really wasn’t a secret, but an ingredient my family was missing–Resolution. Families that coexist well have the ability to resolve their issues before they go too deep and become impossible to rectify. It’s best learned in childhood.

My husband and I grew up in families where problems never got resolved. Conflict was a way of life and became our normal. Thinking we were doing a pretty good job raising our two daughters, we didn’t realize that they were watching the terrible interaction between their grandparents and us, and were taking notes. The result was they didn’t learn how to resolve issues–especially the ones between the two of them. When they grew up, they figured out how to resolve issues with others, but have never learned how to do it with each other.

Young children are very observant. They see how we get along with our parents, friends and neighbors. They listen to what we say and pick up our attitudes toward others, so be careful of those little eyes staring at you. I hang out with two six-year-olds that are my granddaughters, and I’m aware that they are watching me and taking notes. I try to stay mindful in guiding them in resolving conflicts they have with each other so that they will always be close.

So, what are your children learning from you? It’s never too late to change how we deal with each other. When we resolve our problems with people instead of letting things fester, our lives are so much more enriched. Family especially, is something we should cultivate and always hold dear.

“How few there are who have courage enough to own their faults, or resolution enough to mend them.”  ~ Benjamin Franklin

Strawberry Vanilla Pudding Pie

It’s almost spring and a perfect time to do some weeding in our mental gardens. I was talking with one of my daughters the other day about childhood memories both good and bad and how some of us remember the bad experiences more than the good. She shared some of her bad memories of places we lived and horrible school experiences. This is on her mind because her children have had a lot of cross country moves, and her son especially, has had to leave family and friends behind and always is attending a new school.

As parents we try so hard to make sure our kids have good memories of their childhood, but sometimes they only remember the bad stuff. I understand this–I wrote a whole book about my bad childhood. I think it’s important to be mindful of our children’s lives, and of course do the best by them, but nothing is perfect–especially we humans, and life in general. Jobs are lost and children feel the stress. Sometimes moving away occurs and there is sadness leaving friends and family, and children sometimes have to deal with divorce and even death.

I think the best we can do as parents is to teach children that you create good memories by focusing on the good times and not the bad times. We have to let them know that they are in control of how they feel, and it really comes down to the choices they make. Every day is a new beginning for good things to come their way. All of us need to put our attention on the good moments we have experienced, and in doing so, we can chase the sad or bad memories away.

In the past, whenever I would think of my mom all kinds of negative thoughts swirled in my mind. I knew there had to be good times in my childhood and there it was–her Strawberry Vanilla Pudding Pie. How excited I would get when I opened the refrigerator and there it was just waiting for me. I wanted to eat the whole thing! That pie represents the joy I feel when I think about my mom.

Whether you are guiding your children to focus on good memories, or you want to remember only the good times of your childhood, somewhere in your data bank must be a Strawberry Vanilla Pudding Pie.

Namaste