Calm Assertiveness

Always be calm and assertive when dealing with people. When you find yourself in a situation with a person who is stressed out or even angry don’t feed into their drama with your own anger. Words spoken in anger can never be erased. Learn to be the calm in the storm and be assertive–never aggressive in handling any charged situation. Your calmness will change the negative energy into a more positive one. But if the situation is very charged with angry energy then just walk away. Stay present in thought.

Every day you are put into situations where anger can arise, and knowing how to contain, not make it worse, and even stop it altogether is very important. Simple family disagreements can explode into pieces that can never be put back together. Anger on the road can become violent. Tensions at work can get way out of hand and make you want to quit your job. Breathe deeply.

Being mindful of what you say and how you act can also be key to some of the anger you encounter. Always treat people with respect and love, and learn to be firm and kind at the same time. Take control lovingly.

Be the guiding light of calm because life flows so much better when we are peaceful little beings.

“Breathing in, I calm body and mind. Breathing out, I smile. Dwelling in the present moment I know this is the only moment.”

 ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

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Dissolving Expectations

Expectations high and low from you and others will always cause everything around to explode.

We come into the world and find expectations awaiting us from parents filled with hopes and dreams of what they think just should be. As our journey moves forward those expectations grow on and on from teachers, bosses, lovers, and even our own blessed young. Each expectation is always in danger of not measuring up leaving unhappiness, disappointment, anger and even disgust. And what about those we have of ourselves, and those low ones that cause us to self-destruct?

The best way to deal with expectations is to not have them in the first place, but this is a bit unreasonable even for me to believe. So I say, let’s be aware when they appear and dissolve them as quickly as can be. Make a conscious effort to practice Letting Go. “Nonresistance, non judgment, and nonattachment are the three aspects of true freedom and enlightened living.” ~ Eckhart Tolle.

The practice of “Letting Go” makes it possible for you to flow and concentrate on what’s really important. It gets rid of the petty things that keep you a prisoner. When your mind is open you are truly free, and pleasantly surprised how everything fits so perfectly. You are able to accept the people around you without preconceived ideas, and you become accepting of who you are. No more feeling worn out trying to fulfill someone else’s dreams. “Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it.” ~ Eckhart Tolle.

Expectations are just something that you and everyone else just dug up and decide to make into some silly law. Practice dissolving them when they pop up and one day you’ll find them not. Stop hitting your head against that big brick wall and realize life doesn’t have to be so complicated after all.

Problem Creators

Problems are a part of life, but unnecessary problems are created between people. What’s important is how you try to solve these problems. Albert Einstein said, “You can’t solve a problem with the same mind that created it,” and he was right. In order to solve a problem you have to take a step back and clear your mind of any previous feelings that you had when the problem was created in the first place.

Anger has to go right out the door because you can’t solve a problem when anger is attached to it. Hurt is another one that has no place in problem solving along with who was right and who was wrong. Doesn’t matter. Forgiveness of yourself and others is the only way to move forward with a clear new mindset. And forgiveness goes well with compassion and acceptance of others that don’t always share your views.

Humans love to hold on to anger and everything else that is ego driven. In arguments, everyone wants to be heard, and everyone thinks they are right. What is really sad is humans will sacrifice everything in the name of being right, even if they know deep down inside they’re probably wrong.

I’ve said it before, “life is short.” We live breath to breath never knowing when it will end. Our modern world is topsy-turvy with danger lurking around every corner, so way make life any harder? Wouldn’t it just be easier to say, “You respect me, and I respect you, but who says we always have to agree?”

Enjoy this life while you can and don’t get caught up manufacturing problems for yourself and others. But if you do find yourself in an ego slip, then step back, get your emotions out of the way, and think about what you’re doing in a clear and unattached manner. Who knows, maybe by the next day all that you were upset about might have flown away.

Created problems have no place in the real world, and only exist because they have originated in the minds of people who must feel very displaced. Remember, your life is beautiful and so very fragile as a butterfly’s wings, and creating problems in life just shouldn’t be.

Smile

The simple act of smiling puts you and everyone else at ease. A smile is full of warmth and is contagious too. Why go around with a frown upon your face showing the world all you detest and just don’t want to face? Why let yourself feel so much misery when a simple smile will just erase?

When you put a smile on your face you are telling yourself that no matter what you have to face that no amount of negativity will invade your space. Your whole body will come to attention of that little smile and will work and feel so much better. You will also start to notice all the beauty and goodness that surrounds you, and life will become a bit easier.

When you put a smile on your face your fear disappears, and you feel confident and sincere. Worry disappears too because how on earth can you worry with that glow you have on your face? And anger? Oh, hell, who has time for that when a smile makes you feel so swell.

Smiling draws others to you because they feel protected and accepted in your presence. There’s nothing like knowing and actually seeing how your smile can make everyone around you–even strangers, feel so much better.

I know there will be days where you don’t want to smile at all but believe me, those will be the days you need to smile the most. Just try it and see how much better you will be. So get that frown off your face and even though it might not make the world a safer, happier, or better place, it sure will improve your outlook on life and everyone else who comes into sight.

“Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.”

 ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Commitment

Commit yourself to the present and don’t be lured into the dark of yesterday. Living in the past makes no sense because everything that happened there has moved on and so should you. Commit to only living now and this way you will be ready for whatever the future has in store for you.

“If your present is full of your past, there is no room to think of your future.” ~ Al Anderson

Make a commitment to educate and nourish your body. You are the only one that knows what’s best for you so take great care with yourself. Don’t listen to what other beings have to say about you–define yourself and fly to new heights. Take your place in this world and know everyone is depending on you because you are here to do great things.

Stay away from fear, anger and greed because those three together and apart make a horrible cocktail indeed. Be committed to being kind not mean, and fill the air with love and drive hate out to sea. When you do these things you have already achieved a big reason why you are here.

While you are at it, how about doing your part in protecting this big blue planet. Commit to walking softly as you can realizing that everything in nature has a balancing act at hand. Disturb too much and you will certainly see everything on this planet tumbling down like a killing spree.

Don’t flush away this beautiful life you’ve been given; stand up and make some kind of commitment.

“If you deny yourself commitment, what can you do with your life?” ~ Harvey Fierstein

 

Don’t Open That Door

Don’t open that door it’s anger trying to push its way through with ego providing the fuel. Don’t open that door you have nothing to be angry for. What possible event could you let those two come in to your humble home and start-up a war? Whatever you might think it’s not worth opening up that damn door!

Anger has no place in your beautiful life. It will wipe out any balance you have now for your existence. Each day things happen to us and sometimes they are not good, but that’s just life. There is no earthly reason to let anger take hold of you. Once you let anger in it will do more than make you mad, or even a bit sad. It will distort, destroy and make you sick.

So even though something happened to upset you and you have a right to feel angry, DON’T! Because having a right doesn’t make it right. See if you can just let it blow away in the wind. If not, then calm down first, and then confront what’s making you angry, or the person that’s behind your anger event.

Don’t open that door, until you check the peep-hole first. And if it’s anger and ego hand in hand waiting for their chance to expand, make sure the bolts are all locked good and tight, and then, have yourself a glass of wine and a good night.

Anger

“Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”

~ Buddha

Anger is an emotion that will drag you down and steal your joy, especially if you feel it often. There are times in your life when I’m sure you have a perfect reason and a right to feel angry, but don’t. Instead, let the anger pass.

The people you are angry at don’t really care how you feel; they live in their own head, maybe just like you do. This also goes for situations that make you angry. Inanimate objects don’t have feelings. Anger has a habit of growing deeper, making you and those you love, sick.

Many times the anger you feel has nothing to do with a particular person or thing, but everything to do with you. Some feelings that can cause this are: guilt, disappointment, grief, or even fear. Being angry at yourself won’t cure any of these. The best thing to do is face up to what’s bothering you and work in baby steps on conquering the real problem. this way, you are doing something positive that will bring you closer to a full and happy life.

Sometimes the anger you are feeling is in disproportion to what is really going on. So step back for a minute and reevaluate the situation. Not everything that goes wrong in your life deserves an emotion as strong as anger.

Anger is a negative emotion that is fueled by your ego, and absolutely nothing that the ego has anything to do with is going to be good for you. Look around you and see how the years have gone by and ask yourself how many of those years you spent in anger.

The next time you get angry, acknowledge that anger and then let it go, and see it float away. It will take practice, but one day it will be second nature for you. Remember, your life is meant to be happy and peaceful, but it will only be those things if you choose them.