“Apologizing does not always mean that you’re wrong and the other person is right. It just means that you value your relationship more than your ego.” ~ Author unknown
Saying “I’m sorry,” is so hard to do when we don’t feel we did anything wrong. When we say those words we feel like we’re admitting and taking ownership to hurting someone, or doing something wrong. If that wasn’t our intent, or we don’t believe it’s true then why should we apologize?
I think telling someone you’re sorry even though you had no idea you hurt them is something you do as a kindness and just being a good human. You do it for them; not for you. After all, I don’t think very many of us have a problem when shopping at the grocery store saying I’m sorry when we bump into someone’s basket by mistake, or cut them off. It doesn’t seem to bother us to say it because it’s a courtesy that just flows out of our mouths. So why isn’t it a courtesy when someone lets us know that we upset them?
Every day we deal with other humans and we say things that people take the wrong way and we even hurt feelings. We make decisions at the time that seem right but sometimes end up wrong. Our mouths say things before our brains have a chance to digest words and actions. It’s all part of the human condition, but so is being considerate of our fellow humans.
When you apologize to someone in the case of not intentionally trying to cause them emotional pain, you are not admitting guilt. You are being a human connecting to another human and sending love. When you do apologize make sure it comes from the heart. Really feel that empathy for another being.
Maybe if more of us could be selfless and learn to connect the world would be a happier place.
“Apologies are the art of spiritual housekeeping. They help to put and keep our lives in order.” ~ Julia Cameron
Life as a Garden 
i am sorry, Michele
for all that i
might say or do
that is hurtful 🙂
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Beautiful David, but I bet you don’t have very much to ever apologize for.
You are one of the gentle souls walking this earth 🙂
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Your posts are always so insightful Michele. 👏👏👏
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Thank you for saying that Alan. I really appreciate it.
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Such a good point. Unfortunately, many if not most see an apology as an admittance of guilt or being wrong. I know one or two people very close to me, that if they had to apologize for something, it would be the end of them.
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Hi Glen 🙂 It’s so true that many people do think an apology means they are guilty. It’s a shame they think that way. I believe it’s just one of many reasons we humans never get far emotionally connecting to one another.
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Excellent point. Part of the problem I think is that many, however not all people, are so internally focussed on just themselves. They fail to see to some extent at times, that actions and/or words have an impact on others around them. They have the need to be right all the time.
I was at a training day recently. We deal with a lot of people on a daily basis and many of them are on the lower end of the socio-ecomonic scale. Many also deal end mental health and susbstance abuse issues. During the course of some discussion, the issue came up of “why do I/we always have problems dealing with many of them.”
Having been in the field for a while, I told a few of our newer hires, that you need to quit trying to prove yourself to be right all the time. Your desire to win every situation leads to conflict every time and each day at work will seem like an eternity. Furthermore, I explained eventually one of these conflicts will”go south fast” at which point no one wins.
I said at my age I don’t need to stroke my ego any more by being right 100% of the time.
I suggested saying something along the line of “I hear you and I’m sorry for this or that.” The sorry part generally ends the conversation or the issue and you can get on with whatever needs to get done.
After all those words – like you said….people just want to or need to connect.
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It’s true Glen, a lot of people are internally too focused on themselves and that’s why they always want to get their point across and be right. I like what you suggested to the new hires suggesting they say, “I hear you and I’m sorry for this or that.” Yes, people want to connect and they want to be counted and recognized, but their egos don’t want to be wrong.
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True enough. Grat post again Michele
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Thank you Glen 🙂
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👍
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Great post. If ego or fear weren’t in play, saying sorry would be so much easier.
Kindness and humility are wonderful traits and the world would definitely be happier if we could try live these traits more often.
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Thank you Michelle. It’s that old ego and fear thing that plagues humans. What do we have to lose if we just used our kindness and humility?
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Totally agree. I’ve apologized with family esp. when I did no wrong, but it sure did save some hurt/anger that would have happened in the future.
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Hi Elizabeth 🙂 Yes, I agree with you, and I’ve learned the hard way that apologizing especially to family, even if you know you are not at fault, sure saves some drama with hurt feelings. Like Glen said, I think it puts a stop to everyone’s ego trying to prove who is right and who is wrong.
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You have just cut the old ego, with a knife of love. I’ve my scars too. It’s he opportunity to say apologize to my
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Sorry, I missed the important part. I would love to ask my blogger friends to forgive me. Thank you, Michele for this reminder.
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Thank you so much Deepak 🙂
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I love this post. Sorry isn’t saying I’m guilty. It’s saying sorry. It’s apologising for hurting another even if and when you weren’t wrong.
((hugs))
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Thank you Eliza. I’m so glad you enjoyed this post, and you are so right about saying “Sorry.” It really does just mean you are sorry the person felt hurt even if you weren’t wrong. Hugs right back at you!
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Beautiful truth Michele 🙏🏻
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Thank you so much Karen 🙂
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Beautiful post very inspiring kind. Thank you it’s a blessing to read congratulations you’re right beautiful stuff at peace be with you
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Very sweet of you–thank you 🙂
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I can relate to this tonight. I find myself apologizing way too much. I can be impulsive with my actions and/or words and it usually negatively affects my loved ones. I’m always quick to apologize. I have a strong guilty conscious! I’m livin’ & learnin’. 🙂
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Hi Jessie 🙂 I think apologizing is a good thing. I guess some people don’t like to hear it, but that’s their problem not yours. I think it’s a kind thing to do and I always appreciate it when someone apologizes to me. You can’t do too much of a good thing.
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very true…thank you for your thoughtful response.
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You are welcome Jessie.
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Sometimes we might feel sorry that the situation escalated to the point it did, no matter whose fault it was.
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This is so true and I sure have experienced this in my life.
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So have I 😦
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