Communication

Don’t assume you know what someone thinks about you, communicate and see what’s real. Don’t rush to judgment on what you think is really happening, communicate and get the facts. Don’t decide someone really understands your position, communicate to educate. And never think that just because you have lived with a person a very long time that they really know what’s going on in your head–learn to communicate.

We all spend wasted years dealing with significant others, family, friends, co-workers and neighbors thinking we all understand each other, but that’s not always so. Unless we speak our minds then no one really knows what the other is thinking. We all just assume. The problem with assumptions is that we just make up what we feel is the truth and truly believe it. We don’t dare ask if we’re right because we fear confrontation.

We think our love ones and close friends should know us and be able to read our minds, but I don’t think most people have that ability, and so fiction is created and nonsense happens. When people are not being honest with each other, that burden causes passive aggressive behavior which leads to more assumptions on how everyone really feels. I think lack of communication is one of the biggies that causes horrible relationships and a miserable life.

Don’t live your life not communicating. Be direct with people so there is no confusion on how you feel. When you are honest then others will respect you and they too will begin to be upfront with you. Always be respectful and gently assertive when dealing with your fellow humans. Life will flow easier when you allow yourself to be free of the games some people play.

Let your Spirit bloom in the sunlight.

“Assumptions are the termites of relationships.” ~ Henry Winkler

 

Advertisements

10 thoughts on “Communication

  1. hipmonkey says:

    We actually were not taught the skill of communicating, and just as important the skill of listening. I learned it in therapy in my 30s, but Jr High would have been better. We all have a tendency to mind read when the other person leaves things unsaid. So we also need to learn to ask questions. You’d think communicating would come naturally, but this world is so upside down anymore. Good post 🙂

    • Hi, David 🙂 I came from a home where everyone talked a lot but really didn’t communicate. It’s taken me my whole life to get to where I am today. When I look back (which I only do to show myself that I am learning) I can see where things would have gone so much smoother if only I would have communicated. You’re right, listening is just as important as communicating. Whose going to write that one–you or me? Ha, ha. When I was in my 30s I had no idea what the hell I was doing and I was married raising two kids! Jr. high and high school, I never let anyone know what I was really thinking and kept it all locked tightly inside. Isn’t it great to finally be free? Thank you, David for enjoying the post and your wonderful comments.

  2. mjoalex says:

    From personal experience, I understand that communicating creates a less stressful and positive outcome, but it is very hard to put oneself out on the line and expose what that mind is thinking, especially if it is over a conflict with the person to whom you are speaking. I agree with the above post! Let’s get accustomed to communicating earlier in life so we can understand how to create stronger relationships later on. Thoroughly enjoyed reading this!

    • Welcome and thank you for coming by and enjoying my post. I agree with you, it is hard to put yourself on the line and speak your mind, but I find it’s more stressful for me to not have that “talk.” What has helped me is to remain calm and be gently assertive. It’s when the egos get in the way that trouble happenes. Let’s hope all of us will learn to open up, and as you said, create stronger relationships. Thank you again 🙂

  3. Line says:

    Absolutely beautifully said! Honesty is the best tool we can use in relationships. 🙂 I love this article! I hope many many many people read it!

  4. Michele,
    Perhaps one of the big reasons for your feeling it necessary to stress the need for more open and honest communication is the virtually total absence of same from that great societal conditioner: television. How many take their clues on how to behave and speak from characters in the boob tube; characters who never give viewers any portrayals of examples where significant human breakthroughs of understanding occur? It seems that conditioning is a hurdle faced by many on the road to good. mutually beneficial communication.
    Thanks,
    Jerry

    • So true, Jerry. I think people stopped talking with each other and really sharing when television first became a permanent fixture in the 1950s’ homes. Now we also have all the electronic gadgets that take us away from really conversing. Love what you have to say here. Thank you for sharing some really good information.

  5. One day, I do not recall exactly when, I noticed something… I had been thinking for a long time of being greater lovingly present with others in my classes and in public or at home… this day, I was wondering ‘how can I see past the ego in these people around me?’ and as the day was passing, I began to see this very awareness and it began to dawn in my awareness a vision was being imposed over the true beings that I was encountering… and the imposing vision was projection – mine; that I was accustomed to seeing and hearing and experience my expectations of others… and this also was imposing itself upon my awareness of my self. So, I decided this was a good day… a day that I will not forget even though I have forgotten upon what day it falls on a calendar. This awareness was a lasting moment; a deep awareness for the facts. It was like any knowledge greater than most learning.

    I love reading your posts Michele. We are gladly living our days in appreciation of miracles. This is a post about miracles.

    Blessings
    ~ Eric
    I love reading your posts Michele. We are gladly living our days in appreciation of miracles. This is a post about miracles.

    Blessings
    ~ Eric

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s