“One reason we love fiction is because stories have a comforting shape. They provide a resolution that’s lacking in our regular lives.”
~ Patrick Rothfuss

I was thinking the other day how some families just seem to get along and I wondered what their secret was. I finally realized that the secret really wasn’t a secret, but an ingredient my family was missing–Resolution. Families that coexist well have the ability to resolve their issues before they go too deep and become impossible to rectify. It’s best learned in childhood.

My husband and I grew up in families where problems never got resolved. Conflict was a way of life and became our normal. Thinking we were doing a pretty good job raising our two daughters, we didn’t realize that they were watching the terrible interaction between their grandparents and us, and were taking notes. The result was they didn’t learn how to resolve issues–especially the ones between the two of them. When they grew up, they figured out how to resolve issues with others, but have never learned how to do it with each other.

Young children are very observant. They see how we get along with our parents, friends and neighbors. They listen to what we say and pick up our attitudes toward others, so be careful of those little eyes staring at you. I hang out with two six-year-olds that are my granddaughters, and I’m aware that they are watching me and taking notes. I try to stay mindful in guiding them in resolving conflicts they have with each other so that they will always be close.

So, what are your children learning from you? It’s never too late to change how we deal with each other. When we resolve our problems with people instead of letting things fester, our lives are so much more enriched. Family especially, is something we should cultivate and always hold dear.

“How few there are who have courage enough to own their faults, or resolution enough to mend them.”  ~ Benjamin Franklin

4 thoughts on “Resolution

  1. kerbey says:

    I’m sure my son is learning plenty of bad things from me, especially anger–since we have day laborers on every side of our home 13 hrs a day, building houses next door and driving me batty. He’s not thrilled about them either. But he must have learned one good thing: today we were at Target, and he used his gift card to get a game. The balance left was $2.38, and he told me to hand it to the lady behind us instead of keep it. He’s seen me do that enough, so he was mimicking. It’s not a lot of money, but enough to make her and the cashier smile and have a little faith in mankind again.


    • Noise like that would drive me batty too. I bet that lady had a smile on her face all day long! What a wonderful son you have! You must be a very proud mom. That’s great teaching little acts of kindness–the world needs more of that. Thank you for sharing your story 🙂


  2. Some of the most important lessons we learn / teach are often without a word being exchanged. I too am mindful of what I am passing on to my grandchildren because of dysfunctional things in my past. Better late than never?


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