Do you sometimes get your feelings hurt, or get mad because you think you’ve been criticized? Well, you’re not alone because we humans have a bad habit of taking what is said about us behind our backs, or even in a conversation with a friend, much too personal. Now, there are two sides to taking things personal. The first side is people just being mean spirited and sending venom your way that you readily accept. The second side is you reading into what people say.
Let’s start with the mean spirited toxic people. Well, we all know there are people in this world that just seem to enjoy hurting others. You can pick up a psych book and find many reasons for this, but in this post, we don’t care about the reasons for their meanness–the concern is why you take what they say so personal. This is going to take some soul searching on your part. Maybe as a kid you had trouble with bullies. Maybe you were criticized harshly. Maybe you wonder if what the person is saying is actually true. You might secretly like being a willing victim. So many possibilities. The fact is, nobody feels good knowing that someone is saying bad things behind their back. No one wants to deal with negative opinions and just plain nastiness, but there’s no escaping.
This doesn’t mean that you have to be a victim. It means that you have to accept the fact that people pollution is all around you, but that doesn’t mean that you have to breathe it in. When someone attempts to send you their venom, don’t accept it. Don’t care what others think or say about you. It really is that easy. Love yourself enough to trust and believe in only what you think. Toxic people are not happy people and they are always looking for prey. Practice telling yourself that you don’t care what others think of you, because if you let yourself be their prey you will forever be second guessing yourself and miserable forever.
Now, the second side. This side is what I call “Living Too Much in Your Head.” When you’re constantly thinking about yourself and how people are perceiving you, neurotic is what you’re setting yourself up to become. You start to read into everything someone says to you. A friend innocently says something and you get mad and turn the statement into a big deal. The person in this case is not trying to send bad things your way. You just misunderstood and took it personally. Once again, do some soul searching and see what’s behind this. Maybe it’s simply low self-esteem. Maybe it’s about control–controlling yourself and what people think.
No one can really be happy when they are so sensitive that they pick at every little thing someone says and makes it about them. You have to get over yourself and not care what others may feel and say about you. If you can think outside the box, strive to do good and treat everyone with kindness, then what does it matter what anyone thinks, or says about you? There will always be bullies in the world that want to hurt you. There will always be conversations where you think someone has just criticized you, but it just doesn’t matter. Why should you care? Stop thinking about yourself and go out and do some good in the world. When you do something for other beings you forget about yourself and you feel more balanced.
Be strong and know who you are. Don’t be prey for the toxic people; they don’t need to be fed. Let go of any insecurities that are keeping you hostage–you have more important things to think about and do. Kick back with your life, and laugh often–especially at your human quirkiness. After all, you are only here for a short time and shouldn’t that time be better spent?
Sending love to all,